（国家日报 模特泳池派对混乱）
该死 Fuck!
Siri 呼叫“猪头” Siri, call Shithead.
早上好 Good morning.
《太阳报》没有任何 关于泰德和基莉的报道 There is nothing in The Sun about Ted and Keeley.
什么都没有 你在办公室吗 Nothing. Are you in your office?
我当然在 Of course I am.
那赶紧给我上来 Then get up here now.
再见 孩子们 告诉妈妈我爱她 Bye, boys. Tell Mum I love her.
敲门 嘿 老板 我不知道你周末过得如何 Knock, knock. Hey, boss, I don't know about you,
但我度过了一个无比惬意的周日 but I had an absolute peach of a Sunday.
给你 Here you go.
是的 终于见到了大本钟 Yeah, finally saw Big Ben.
天哪 我还以为我已经见过 全世界最大的钟了 Boy, I thought I'd seen the biggest clock there was.
我小的时候 父母带着我 When I was a kid, my folks took me
去密尔沃基市看了艾伦布拉德利钟塔 to the Allen-Bradley Clock Tower up there in Milwaukee.
结果他们把我一个人扔在那里 They ended up leaving me there all by myself.
三小时42分钟 你知道我为什么记得这么清楚吗 Yeah, three hours and 42 minutes. You know how I know that?
你一直盯着钟 You were staring at a clock?
没错 我盯着表看呢 答对了 I was staring at a clock. That's exactly right. Yeah, bingo.
这问题很有迷惑性 That's a little bit of a mystery puzzle.
但你立刻就猜到了 你很聪明 You figured it out right away. You're a sharp cookie.
-泰德 -在 -Ted. -Yeah.
说到我们刚才谈论的时间问题 Speaking as we were mere moments ago, about time,
很不幸的是 我没时间 I unfortunately don't have any.
我要开一个品牌推广会议 所以… I have a branding meeting, so...
我一直很同情奶牛 I always feel so bad for the cows,
但你总得钉上牌子才能避免它们跑丢 but you gotta do it otherwise they get lost.
这是一个双关语的笑话 That was a branding joke.
如果我们是在堪萨斯 If we were in Kansas right now,
我现在正耐心等你笑完呢 I'd just be sitting here waiting for you to finish laughing. Yeah.
明天见 好吗 I'll see ya tomorrow, okay?
-好的 我盯着钟表指针呢 -很好 你开窍了 -Okay. Counting the minutes. -Yeah, there you are.
好的 我们来看看 守门员在这里 All right. Let's see what we got here. I've got this fella up here, the goalie.
然后这些球员在这里 好吗 Then all these guys over here, okay?
这个往左 这个往右 再过来 And going over here, going over that way.
这家伙直接穿过中场 This son of a gun's gonna go all the way down here.
水晶宫队上周把我们打得落花流水 Crystal Palace kicked our booties last week.
这是我们目前的进攻阵型 And this here, is our current offense that we are running,
我认为这个策略太烂了 and I think it stinks!
全部擦掉 Get rid of it.
你现在可能会好奇 我干嘛要画在板子上再擦掉 Now, you might be wondering why'd I draw all that up there just to erase it.
因为我相信象征性姿态的作用 And that is because I believe in symbolic gestures.
我也是 As do I.
你昨晚几点回家的 What time did you get home last night?
-没回家 -真的 -Didn't. -Really?
听着 我们现在的进攻就只是传切战术 Now, look, our whole offense right now is all give-and-go.
把球传给杰米 其他人就算完成任务了 Give the ball to Jamie and everyone else can go to hell.
所以我要正式开始寻找新策略 听到了吗 So, I am officially on the prowl for any new ideas, you hear?
-你有什么想法吗 内特 -没有 -You got something, Nate? -No.
那个… So...
没有 天啊 还是算了吧 抱歉 No. No. God, no. Never mind, I'm sorry.
快说吧 你也是我们的一员 来吧 别吞吞吐吐的了 你有什么想法 Come on now. You're one of us. Let's go. Fire away. What do you got?
好吧 就是…不对 在另一个兜里 Okay, right. Well, it's just... No, other pocket.
就是我自己的一个想法 It's just something that I thought of.
抱歉 天啊 Sorry. Jesus.
不是这个 Not that one.
其实 也不是特别好 You know what, it's not even very good.
可能是馊主意 甚至挺丢脸的 It's probably really bad. It's embarrassing even.
-我只是… -抱歉 内特 -I just-- -Sorry, Nate.
我不太听得清那些不自信的人说话 I have a real tricky time hearing folks that don't believe in themselves.
所以我直接问你好了 I'm gonna ask you real quick again.
-你认为这个主意可行吗 -是的 -Do you think this idea will work? -Yeah, I do.
-你干嘛那么大声 内特 -天啊 -Why you screaming at us, Nate? -God!
我们就站在这儿呢 We're right here.
好了 过来 跟我们详细解释下 All right, come on now. Walk us through it.
好的 我觉得如果我们从侧翼发起进攻 Okay. So, I thought if we started the attack on the wing,
杰米就能进入左侧球场 Jamie could run through nearside,
之后防守球员会跟上来 山姆可以顶替他的位置 then when the defense follows, Sam could fill his spot.
所以 把杰米当作诱饵 So, use Jamie as a decoy?
不是 No.
不是 算是吧 这种情况下是的 No. Well, yeah, in-- Yeah, in this case, yes.
我们来试试 Let's give it a shot.
你要用我的战术 What, you're gonna use my play?
是啊 我是说 我们会试一下 看看行不行 Yeah. I mean, we're gonna try it on, see if it fits.
也许不行 You know, it might not.
就算是那样 这也是一个令人遐想的轮廓 Then again, it might be a very flattering silhouette,
我或许会穿上身走出店门 and I might wear it right outta the store.
让我感觉非常好 我走路的姿势都变得不一样了 Makes me feel good and I start to strut.
我心想：“我喜欢 我喜欢这种感觉” I'm like, "I like this. I like the way this makes me feel."
让他看看你的步伐 教练 Show him your strut, Coach.
没错 就是这样 很好 就是这么走的 Yeah, there you go. Oh, yeah. Yep, that's how to strut.
让我看看你的步伐 内特 来吧 Let me see you strut, Nate. Come on.
很好 内特 这样也行 There you go, Nate. Yeah, that's one way to do it.
很好 There you go.
你看上去有点生气 但是不打紧 You look a little angry, but that's all right.
是我的错 我忘了球场在这边 That's my fault. I forgot the pitch is right this way.
来吧 我们往这边走 跟上 Come on, let's go. Strut this way. Here we go.
保持住 Still strutting.
-一会见 -好的 -I'll see you later. Yeah. -Yeah.
泰德嘿 能耽误你一点时间吗 Ted! Hey, have you got a minute?
-嗯 一切还好吗 -还好 挺好的 -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything okay? -Yeah, yeah. No, it's fine, yeah.
-一点都不好 糟透了 -不会吧 -It's not fine. Everything's shit. -Oh, no.
这张照片将会登上 《太阳报》今天的头版 This was gonna be the front page of The Sun today.
“球队经理挖明星球员墙角” "Manager Shags Star Player's Girlfriend."
我觉得正确的版本应该是 I think a more accurate headline would be,
“球队经理好心给年轻女孩喂饭 她并不是谁的附庸” "Manager Innocently Feeds Young Woman Whose Relationship Does Not Define Her."
泰德 这件事很糟糕 Ted, this is really bad!
除了一点 他们把我拍得太好看了 Except I look insanely fit in this picture.
是啊 光线映在你脸上很美 Yeah, no, it's beautiful light.
我朋友在这家报社工作 他说他最多能再拖一天 My friend who works at the paper said he can hold this story for one day
算是帮忙 as a favor.
等报道一出来 杰米会发飙的 When this shit hits, Jamie is going to go mental.
会有无数的狗仔队跟着我们 There's going to be photographers all over us.
好吧 Right, right.
我的下一张照片就不会这么完美了 The next picture of me will not be this perfect.
我会在张大嘴要打喷嚏时被拍下 就像… I am gonna be mid-sneeze face, like--
-你猜标题会怎么写 -祝你健康 -Guess what the headline will be. -Gesundheit?
“杰米的淫乱女友伤了塔特的心” "Jamie's Tart Breaks Tartt's Heart."
-你是刚才想到的吗 -是 -Did you just come up with that? -Yeah.
-所有人都会想读的 -当然了 -Everyone would read that. -Of course they would.
你根本不知道在这个该死的国家 押韵这个事有多大的威力 You have no idea the power of rhyming in this goddamn country.
我知道 Yeah.
“拉索第三者插足导致球队惨败” "Lasso Makes Passo and Creates Team Fiasco."
基莉你全押上了 Keeley's got bars.
是的 我又可爱又会押韵 Yeah, I'm cute as a button and I can rhyme my ass off.
天啊 怪不得他们想毁掉我 God, it's no wonder they want to destroy me.
是啊 Yeah, yeah.
抱歉我爬楼梯爬了太久 Sorry, it took me so long to get up the stairs.
我被…大约一百个人拦住闲聊 I was... stopped to talk by about a hundred people.
还是什么都没有 Still nothing.
找人把泰德和基莉的新闻发出来 Get someone to run the story about Ted and Keeley.
-嘿 老板 -泰德还有基莉 你好 -Hey, boss. -Ted! And Keeley. Hello.
我在走廊捡到的 Hey, I found that in the hall. Yeah.
我们出了一点状况 So, we got ourselves a situation here.
你给她看看 Go ahead, show her the picture, yeah.
看到了吗该死的《太阳报》 明天就要登出来了 See? And the fucking Sun is running it tomorrow.
说真的 那些人 Honestly, these people,
他们完全不考虑别人的隐私和尊严 they just have no regard for people's privacy and dignity.
是啊 我要查出来是哪个王八蛋拍的 还有是谁雇的他们 Yeah, I'm gonna find the piece of shit that took this and who hired them.
不 没这个必要 No, no. Not necessary.
我认识报社的老板 我打个电话就能阻止这件事 I know the owner of the paper. I can get this stopped with a phone call.
真的吗天啊 谢谢你 Really? Oh, my God. Thank you.
瞧 我怎么说的来着 See, what I tell ya, huh?
这女人厉害着呢 坚强、自信、有能力 This woman right here is strong, confident and powerful.
老板 我跟你讲 我不想看到 你和米歇尔奥巴马掰手腕 Boss, I tell ya, I'd hate to see you and Michelle Obama arm wrestle,
但若真有这么一天 我肯定目不转睛 but I wouldn't be able to take my eyes off it either.
我还是头一次被人这么夸奖 That's not a compliment I've had before.
-您的胳膊确实强壮得可以拍动作片了 -是啊 -You do have perfect action figure-y arms. -Yeah.
这种夸法也挺新鲜 总之 我很高兴能帮上忙 There's another one. Anyway, glad to help.
-好的 -谢谢你 -All right. Yeah. -Thank you.
-不客气 -再见 -Okay. -See y'all later.
她不可能找到我头上来 对吧 There's no way she can trace that photo back to me, can she?
-应该是吧 -“应该”是什么意思 -Yes. -What do you mean "yes"?
你没用假名或是一次性手机吗 Did you not use an alias or a burner phone?
我不是间谍 瑞贝卡 我只是球队运营总监 I'm not a spy, Rebecca. I'm just the director of football operations.
你两样都做得很棒呢 And equally proficient at both.
谢谢 等等… Well, thank you. Wait...
好的 来吧 山姆传给迪克森 Okay, here we go. Sam lays it for Dickson.
很好 动作娴熟 Okay, nice touch.
传给邦伯凯奇 Switch to Bumbercatch.
杰米诱敌 Jamie decoys through.
-山姆无人防守 -进了 -Sam wide open. -There it is!
干得漂亮 内特 你感觉怎么样 Nice play, Nate. How you feel?
我不知道 很多前所未有的感受 I just don't know. So many new feelings. Yeah.
有点像长第一根阴毛的感觉 是吧 Kinda like getting your first pube, right?
-是的 什么 -来吧 -Yeah. What? -Here we go.
好了 大家做得很好 All right. Hey. Nice work.
好的 先生们 Okay, now, gentlemen,
还有一件事我们需要关注 here's the other thing we're gonna start focusing on.
从进攻到防守的转换必须更加迅速 Making quicker transitions from offense to defense.
你们要习惯“你好 再见”的模式 明天了吗 Y'all gotta start making your hellos goodbyes. You understand?
最好一件事最简单的方法就是好好做 Easiest way to get that done well is to do it well.
但除此之外 你们要保持最佳状态 好吗 But aside from that, you gotta be in great shape, right?
所以我们所有人要围着场地跑两圈 So, we are all gonna run two laps around this field.
凡是输给我的人再加四圈 现在开始 Anyone who loses to me has to run four more. Let's go!
-好的 让我看看你们的本事 -怎么回事 -Okay, come on. What you got? -What's going on?
你们追上来了 不准抄近道 You're catching up. Don't cut that corner!
快点 你们追不上我 我是姜饼人 Come on. You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man.
再快点 孩子们 Faster, boys!
-看看他这张脸 -科林 艾萨克 求你们了 -Look at his face. -Colin, Isaac, please stop.
真的很疼 好疼啊 Yeah, it really hurts now. It really hurts.
小心点 科林 这是我们的新教练 Be careful, Colin, now. That's our new coach.
-对哦 小子 -是的 -Oh, right, boyo. -Yeah.
抱歉 教练 Sorry, gaffer.
谢谢 Thank you.
好的 大家表现得非常好 伙计们 Okay, way to run out there today, fellas.
他们跑得比我快 You guys are much faster than me.
除了彼尔德教练 Except Coach Beard.
怎么回事我记得你高中时跑田径的啊 What's going on? I thought you ran track in high school or something.
我是象棋队的 教练 Chess team, Coach.
伊利诺伊州冠军 宝贝 Illinois State Champs, baby.
好的 伊利诺伊是一个州 伙计们 Okay, yeah. Illinois is a state, fellas.
最后一件事 你们的衣柜里有礼物 One last thing, there are some gifts up in y'all's lockers.
提前放在里面的 希望大家喜欢 In your little cubbies up there. So, hope you enjoy 'em.
（奥森斯科特卡特 《安德的游戏》）
（F斯科特菲茨杰拉德 《漂亮冤家》）
是一本破书 It's a fucking book.
（马德琳英格 《时间的皱折》）
（#我们是里士满）
好计策 臭小子 Nice one, bitch boy.
-嘿 -我只是觉得应该告诉你 -Hey. -Yeah, I just thought you should know
你的跟班内森每天都被杰米 that your boy Nathan's being harassed every single day
和他那帮混蛋死党们欺负 by Jamie and his little... side-pricks.
-嗯 -所以你早知道 -Right. -So you know already?
是的 Yep.
所以 你会解决这件事吧 So, you'll take care of it?
不会 No.
搞什么 What the fuck?
罗伊 我在布鲁克里奇小学 Roy, I learned two pretty big lessons
崎岖不平的操场上吸取了两个教训 on the rough-and-tumble playgrounds of Brookridge Elementary School.
第一 如果小罗尼福奇给你棒棒糖 One, if little Ronnie Fowch offers you a candy bar,
你要立刻拒绝 然后跑得越远越好 you immediately say no, and you get the hell outta there.
因为很有可能 'Cause there's a good chance
那个小兔崽子 刚在巧克力糖的包装袋里拉了屎 that little son of a gun has just pooped inside of a Butterfinger wrapper.
没人见过他这么干 但有人吃到过 No one ever saw him do it, but a couple people ate it.
第二 如果老师告诉霸凌者别欺负人 Number two, if the teacher tells the bully not to pick on someone,
只会让情况更糟 it's just gonna make it worse.
所以 你什么都不打算做 So, you're not gonna do anything?
对 No.
你干嘛刺激他 Why you winding him up?
他是关键 教练 He's the one, Coach.
如果我们要在这里干成事 If we're gonna make an impact here,
第一张倒下的多米诺骨牌 就在他的心里 the first domino that needs to fall is right inside that man's heart.
好极了 Yes.
杰米 我能问你件事吗 -Jamie, can I ask you something?
这是40公斤哑铃 我要做三组 每组十个 -It's 40 kilos. I do three sets of ten.
然后在肱二头肌和三角肌之间切换 And then I alternate between bis and tris.
我才不关心你举什么 小白脸 I don't give a shit what you lift, you little pretty boy.
不 你关心 因为你问了 Yeah, you do, 'cause you asked.
你能举起40公斤哑铃吗 Can you curl 40 kilos?
不能 但我能把你的蛋蛋当吊球用 No, but I can use your balls as a speed bag.
-你想试试吗 -不是特别想 -Do you wanna try that? -Not especially.
你知道你在球队里扮演什么角色吗 Do you even understand the influence you have on this team?
-我是最好的 我知道 -不 你是个混蛋 -I'm the shit, yeah. -No, you're a bellend.
但因为你有踢球的天赋 大家都很尊重你 But because your right foot was kissed by God the boys look up to you.
这让我质疑我的信念 It's made me question my own faith.
所以 当他们欺负内特时… So, when they pick on Nate...
你在笑… and you laugh...
是的 Yeah.
…他们认为这没问题 ...they think it's okay.
对 因为内特是个弱鸡 他什么都做不了 Right, 'cause Nate's a weak baby and he can't do anything about it.
好吧 我会解决的 内特是个好孩子 Yeah, all right. I'll take care of it. Nate's a good lad.
很好 Good.
嘿 罗伊 你今晚来俱乐部吗 Hey, Roy. You comin' to the club tonight?
等下 你会去吗 Hold on, will you be there?
-当然了 兄弟 -那我去个屁 -Of course, bruv. -Then fuck no.
科林 艾萨克 过来 Colin, Isaac, come here.
你们俩平时总戏弄内特 是吧 You know how you two are always messing with Nate?
-对 -对 -Yeah. -Yeah.
继续 我觉得很好笑 Keep it up. Makes me laugh.
-早上好 希金斯 -早上好 我只是在… -Good morning, Higgins. -Good morning. I was just--
等在门口 好让我知道你准时上班了 Waiting at the entrance so I'd see you were here on time.
没错 你似乎心情不错 Exactly. You seem in good spirits.
是的 我刚刚意识到一件事 Yes, I am. I've just realized something.
那张照片就算不能登出来又怎样 Who cares if we can't run that picture?
更大的问题是本地社区 The bigger issue is that the local community
力挺球队 不管他们踢得有多烂 is getting behind the team no matter how badly they play.
粉丝基础非常牢固 It is an outstanding fan base.
是的 我相信我有能力将其毁掉 Yes, one I believe I can put an end to.
万岁 Hooray.
不行 No.
好吧 我回来这里 Okay. I'll go back there.
-今日份 -谢谢 -Here you go. -Thank you.
我跟《太阳报》的老板谈过了 So, I spoke to the owner of The Sun.
你跟上帝谈了 You spoke to God?
-不是太阳 是《太阳报》 -哦 对 -No, the newspaper. -Oh, right.
他同意不刊登你和基莉那张照片 And he has agreed to not run the photo of you and Keeley.
最有价值球员 MVP! MVP! MVP!
-左腿右腿 加把劲 -好了 -Left leg! Right leg, not as good! -Okay.
-太好了 -好啦 谢谢 泰德 -Yeah! -Yes. Okay, thank you, Ted.
抱歉 你说到哪了请继续 Sorry. Yeah, no. You were saying. Go ahead.
作为交换 In exchange,
我同意让他的另一家 更有名气的报社《独立报》 I've agreed for his more reputable newspaper, The Independent,
给你做个专访 to do a profile on you.
《和拉索教练面对面》 "One-on-One with Coach Lasso."
好的 Yeah, okay.
记者是特伦特克里姆 The writer will be Trent Crimm.
他非常优秀 支持者们都对他马首是瞻 And he's very good, and the supporters really listen to him.
哦 我知道特伦特 他是一块难啃的饼干 Oh, no. I know Trent, yeah. He's a tough cookie.
-是吗 -是的 但是没关系 -Really? -Yeah, but that's okay.
你知道要怎么对付 这种硬邦邦的饼干 对吗 You know what you do with tough cookies, don't ya?
-不知道 -泡在牛奶里 -No. -Dip 'em in milk.
好了 我们试一下新战术 All right, let's run that new one.
嘿 他来了 Hey, there he is.
你好 来自美国的泰德拉索教练 Hello, Coach Ted Lasso from America.
你好 《独立报》的特伦特克里姆 Hello, Trent Crimm from The Independent.
你好 很高兴和你共度一天 一定会很有趣 Hey, excited to spend the day with ya. Gonna be fun.
叫我泰德就好 And please, call me Ted.
好了 去吧 All right, let's go!
无人防守 Wide open.
-太好了 -进球了 -Yeah! -Snuck it by him.
就是这样 山姆 感觉如何 Thataway, Sammy. How'd that feel?
感觉好极了 教练 我从头到脚都震颤了 Oh, wonderful, Coach. I felt that one in my penis.
是吧 这听上去很对 很好 Yeah. No, that sounds about right. That's good. Yeah.
嘿 杰米 你的动作要更有迷惑性 宝贝 Hey, Jamie, you gotta sell that run-through hard, baby.
骗过对方的防守队员 看好了 像这样 Make the defense believe you. Watch, like this.
球球传给我 Ball! Ball! Give me the ball!
给我球传给我我想要球 求你了 I want the ball! Give me the ball! I would like the ball, please!
好好表现 Make it a performance.
我要你在明年的ESPY 颁奖礼上拿奥斯卡 I want you winning an Oscar at the ESPYs next year.
你想让我当诱饵 You want me to run decoy?
是的 没错 Yeah, that's right.
开玩笑吧 It's a joke.
可惜的是 没人觉得这笑话好笑 Unfortunately for you, though, no one thinks it's funny.
是这样吗 That true?
求同存异吧 我认为很好笑 Agree to disagree. I find it hilarious.
我觉得比《非亲兄弟》还好笑 I thought it was funnier than Step Brothers.
这个评价很高哦 High praise.
双层床塌掉的那个镜头… That scene where the bunk bed collapses...
我一直以为那是我看过的最好笑的事 I used to think that was the funniest thing I'd ever seen,
但今天我看到了这一幕 but then I just saw that.
现在我得将我的搞笑排行榜 And now I'm gonna have to rethink my order of what I think is
重新排序了 the funniest thing I've ever seen.
是的 据我所知 这叫体育和艺术结合 Yeah, that's when sports and art combine, as far as I'm concerned.
好了 伙计们 再来一次 All right, fellas, let's run it again. Let's go.
你好 Cheers.
他们懂了 他们明白了 Yeah, they're getting it. They're getting it.
有趣的策略 泰德 是你想出来的吗 Interesting play, Ted. Did you come up with this?
不是 Oh, no, no, no.
是我们伟大的内特炮制出来的 This is all cooked up by our very own Nate the Great.
“伟大的内特”是谁 Who's "Nate the Great"?
他在那儿呢 Oh, yeah. There he is.
有人在这里遛狗 又发现一坨狗屎 Someone's been walking their dog here. Found another poo.
好吧 Okay.
“伟大的内特”是做什么的 What exactly does "Nate the Great" do?
我不太确定他的头衔是什么 I'm not exactly sure what his title is.
嘿 教练 内特负责什么 Hey, Coach. What is Nate's job around here?
-打杂的 -好的 打杂的 -Kit man. -There you go. Kit man.
你是说你们把一个英超联赛球队 的进攻战术 Do you mean to tell me you're entrusting a Premier League team's attack
交到一个打杂的手里 to the kit man?
那个年轻人对足球的理解远在我之上 That young fellow's forgotten more about this sport than I'll ever know.
老天 他也许是个天才 Heck, might be a genius.
有什么要补充的吗 教练 Anything to add, Coach?
好孩子 Good kid.
哎呀 Boy, oh boy.
如果你了解彼尔德教练 你就知道这句评价的分量 If you knew Coach Beard, you'd know what a big deal that was.
你是认真的吧 You mean that, don't you?
你的报道有了 Well, hell. There's your story right there.
标题什么的全部搞定 “他点头了” Got a headline and everything. "Man Nods Head."
当心了 盖伊泰勒斯 Watch your back, Gay Talese.
一个叫特伦特克里姆的记者 将要敲出一篇标志性新专访 There's a new iconic profile about to be typed up by one Trent Crimm.
打起精神来 Tighten up those lines!
让他们知道 教练 Let 'em know, Coach.
过来 Come on.
拿条毛巾来 Get a towel.
-天啊 不要 -拿条毛巾来 -Oh, God. No, no, no. -Get a towel.
-放开我 求你了 天啊 不要 -喂 -Let go. Please, God. Stop it. No. -Oi, oi!
你们在干吗 What the fuck are you doing?
杰米没跟你们讲别招惹他吗 Jamie not talk to you about leaving him alone?
该死的 Fuck's sake.
-你看上去像是忘了什么东西 -嗨 基莉 -You look like you've forgotten something. -Hi, Keeley.
我在找你那个混蛋男友 你的眼光可真是够差的 I'm looking for your prick boyfriend. You know how to pick 'em, don't ya?
你的前女友不是偷了你的劳力士 拿去卖钱买毒品了吗 Didn't your last girlfriend steal your Rolex and sell it for drug money?
所以呢我不需要手机也不需要手表 So? I don't need a phone and a watch.
听着 我没想给你男友当保姆 好吧 Look, I didn't sign up to be your boyfriend's minder, okay?
但是新教练让我觉得自己 But the new gaffer's trying to make me feel responsible
对该死的内特负有责任 我甚至连他姓什么都不知道 for fucking Nate, whose last name I don't even know.
他姓巴恩斯 It's Barnes.
不 是谢利 No. It's Shelley.
对 我知道 Yeah, I know.
我不喜欢被当猴耍 I don't like being tricked.
不论是你 还是那个“牛仔们好 Not by you and not by, "Howdy y'all, cowboys.
我叫泰德拉索 来自堪萨斯”的家伙 My name is Ted Lasso and I'm from Kansas."
哇 你实在是太不擅长模仿了 Wow, you're, like, really, really bad at impressions, man.
我知道他在激我 但我不会被牵着鼻子走 I know he's trying to push my buttons, but I cannot be manipulated.
得了吧 如果我愿意 我现在就能刺激你 全身上下所有的敏感点 Come on. I could push all of your buttons right now if I wanted to.
-不 不行 基莉… -事实上 我可以 -No, you couldn't, Keeley-- -I think, actually, I could.
-你不能 基莉…不 基莉 -你说什么我听不到你说话 -You couldn't, Keeley-- No, Keeley. -What was that? I can't seem to hear you.
-基莉 你能不能听我说… -我听着呢 -Keeley, if you would listen to me-- -I'm trying to listen to you.
-我可以告诉你为什么… -告诉我 -I could tell you why-- -So tell me.
那会让你生气吗 Is that making you mad?
不会 No.
“我是罗伊肯特 别人付钱找我打比赛 "I'm Roy Kent and I get paid to play a game,
但我总是很生气” but I'm mad all the time."
确实挺像的 That's actually pretty good.
嘿 特伦特 Hey, Trent.
-你知道你让我想起谁了吗 -不知道 谁 -You know who you remind me of right now? -No. Who?
那种机器人吸尘器 One of them robot vacuums.
到处晃悠寻找脏东西 Just kinda wandering around looking for dirt.
-伦巴扫地机器人 -对 -Roomba. -That's the one.
事实上 我有个问题 Actually, I have a question.
在你们惨败给水晶宫队之后 After your resounding loss to Crystal Palace,
他们的一个球员说 你们在更衣室举行了派对 one of your players said there was a party in the locker room.
你觉得在失败后开派对 是传达了一个正确的信息吗 Do you feel it sends the right message having a party after a loss?
特伦特 我自己从来不会 过多地纠结输赢这种事 Well, Trent, I've never really concerned myself too much with wins and losses.
这句我要引用 Now that's a quote I'll probably use.
你该走了 You should get going.
你能告诉罗伊我们很快就走了吗 Hey, will you let Roy know we're heading out soon?
-收到 -谢谢 教练 -Copy. -Thanks, Coach.
你要跟我们一起吗 我们要去找一些学生谈谈 You wanna tag along? We're gonna go speak to some schoolkids.
真是巧啊 Oh, what a coincidence.
我们采访当天 你刚好刚去参观一家本地学校 The day of our interview you just happen to be visiting a local school.
这就叫无巧不成书 对吗 Well, that's the funny thing about coincidences, ain't it?
有时候就是这么巧 Sometimes they just happen.
走吧 Come on now.
请进 Come in.
我只是想来再次感谢你 阻止那张照片的刊登 I just wanted to come and thank you again for stopping that picture from running.
我给你带了礼物 And I bought you a present.
它让我想到了你 Made me think of you.
很强大 但有一点不好接近 It's strong and a bit prickly.
我决定不再害怕你了 You know, I've decided to not be scared of you anymore.
我不知道你怕过我 I didn't know you were.
是的 我都要吓死了 Yeah. I was, like, fucking terrified of you.
天啊 要是记者搅和我们感情的事 My God, Jamie would have been so pissed off
杰米会气疯的 with reporters poking around in our love life.
我不知道为什么要跟你说这些 你肯定深有感触 不是吗 I don't know why I'm telling you. You know all about that, don't you?
还记得你离婚的时候吗 Remember when you got divorced?
记得 It rings a bell.
你不会觉得很气愤吗 Yeah, I mean, didn't it, like, make you really mad
他们都针对你 而不是鲁伯特 that they went after you and not Rupert?
明明出轨的人是他 他却成了大家眼中的“白马王子” 'Cause he was the one that cheated and he came across like Prince Charming.
这让我非常生气 It really pissed me off.
媒体总是对男人网开一面 Well, the press are never awful to men.
没有人会为一张在马略卡岛 游艇上的裸体男人照片 No one ever pays a fortune for a photo of a naked man on a yacht in Mallorca
而支付一大笔封口费 a week after his divorce.
这个场景太具体了 That's like a very specific scenario.
天哪 有人拍到了你在游艇上的裸照 Oh, my God. That means there's a picture of you naked on a yacht.
我能看看吗在这儿吗 Can I see it? Is it here?
拜托 你要是不想给别人看 根本就不会提 Come on. You wouldn't have said something if you weren't dying to show someone.
求你了 Please.
是从直升机上拍的 我当时在享受日光浴 It was taken from a helicopter while I was sunbathing.
我的老天 瑞贝卡 Holy shit, Rebecca.
你的胸部长这样 Are those your real tits?
感觉像是十几岁的男孩子 我忍不住要盯着看 I feel like a teenage boy. I can't stop staring at them.
你从哪弄的 Where did you get those?
我妈妈 My mum.
真不敢相信你拦下了这张照片 I can't believe you stopped this from running.
不然的话 我一定会拿给所有人看 I would have shown everyone.
好吧 我得继续工作了 Right. I really need to get on.
抱歉 给 Oh, sorry. Yeah.
谢谢 Thank you.
再见 Bye.
鞋忘了 Shoes.
鞋 对了 Shoes. Yes.
哇 你那美丽的胸部 Wow, you really blew my brains out
真的让我大开眼界 瑞贝卡 with those beautiful breasts of yours, Rebecca.
我第一次见到我们学校的足球队时 When I first saw our school football squad,
我不认为里士满小学会赢下一场比赛 I didn't think that Richmond Primary would win a single game,
而是会赢得联赛冠军 much less the league championship.
为了表示庆祝 有请AFC里士满的新任经理 To celebrate, please welcome the new manager of AFC Richmond,
艾德拉索 Ed Lasso.
谢谢 非常感谢 Thank you. I appreciate you.
好的 嘿 大家伙 你们好吗 All right. Hey, gang. How y'all doing?
-傻屌 -雅各布 -Wanker. -Jacob.
没关系 It's all right.
听着 我只是想过来 Look, I just wanted to come down
恭喜你们走过了一个精彩的赛季 and congratulate y'all on a heck of a season.
但是我知道还有一个人特别想跟大家见面 But hey, I know someone else who's really excited to meet all of ya.
所以请跟我一起欢迎 So if you please help me welcome
AFC里士满足球队的队长 罗伊肯特 the captain of your AFC Richmond squad, Roy Kent.
罗伊 Roy! Roy! Roy! Roy!
好的 Right.
我向来对公开演讲和学校都不是很感冒 Never been much for public speaking or school, really.
在我看来就是浪费时间 Always seemed like a waste of time to me.
不如我们离开这个闷热的体育馆 Why don't we get out of this stuffy auditorium,
去足球场上好好地活动一下怎么样 go out on the pitch and have a proper fuck-about?
我觉得你这么做很酷 I think it's really cool you do this.
我这么做只是因为 我该死的侄女在这儿念书 Only doing it 'cause my fucking niece goes here.
-是吗哪个是她 -那个笨蛋 -Oh, yeah? Which one is she? -That idiot.
天啊 她来了 Oh boy, here she comes.
我们能玩头球吗 罗伊叔叔 Can we do headers, Uncle Roy?
好的 过来吧 Yeah, all right. Come on then.
来吧 跟我来 排好队 All right. Come on, you lot. Line up.
头球 漂亮 Heads. Lovely.
下一个 接着 完美 Next. Go. Perfect.
下一个 头球 Next. Heads.
下一个 Next.
做得好 下一个 Well done. Next.
下一个 很棒 Next. Sweet.
好极了 我喜欢 Lovely. I liked it.
-很好 -罗伊 这样 -Good. -Roy, come on.
你去那边 给他们示范下 这里交给我 You hop in there, show 'em how it's done. I'll do a couple.
你还好吗准备好了吗来了 How you doing? Ready? Come on.
很棒 过来 That's the spot. Come on.
轮到你了 菲比 让我们看看你的本事 Here we go, Phoebe. Let's see what you got.
接得好 我们可能找到了一个守门员 Hey, nice catch. We might have ourselves a goalie.
天啊 你踢得真准 Boy, oh boy. That was right in the button.
干得好 菲比 Good job, Phoebe.
哎呀 Oh boy.
抱歉弄上血迹了 Sorry about the blood there.
好了 There you go.
别拿去克隆我 Don't use it to clone me.
很高兴认识你 保重 Nice meeting you. Take care now.
这种活动还没有人待过这么久 That's the longest anyone's ever stayed for something like this.
-谢谢你邀请我们 -再见 -Hey, thanks for having us. -Cheers.
再次表示感谢 Thanks again.
罗伊 大获成功 Roy, that was a blast.
我跟你讲 你的侄女真可爱 And I tell you what, that niece of yours is a real cutie patootie.
够了 我受够了你的心理游戏 和你那些破礼物 Enough. I've had it with your mind games and your stupid gifts.
为什么要送我《时间的皱折》 I mean, what even is A Wrinkle in Time?
那是一本很好的小说 It's a lovely novel.
讲的是一个年轻女孩穿越时空 It's the story of a young girl's struggle with the burden of leadership
为领袖的重担困扰不已的故事 as she journeys through space.
对 就是这样 Yeah. That's it.
你是说我是那个小女孩吗 Am I supposed to be the little girl?
我希望你是 I'd like you to be.
好吧 这些都不重要 Right. None of this matters.
因为我要和这镇子上所有人一样 'Cause I'm just doing what everyone in this town is doing,
数着日子直到你离开为止 and I'm counting down the days until you're gone.
特伦特 你是个混蛋 一直都是 Trent, you're a colossal prick. You always have been.
菲比 走了 Phoebe, come on.
你饿了吗 Are you hungry?
这是传统 Little tradition.
战斗开始 Let battle commence.
泰德拉索 Ted Lasso?
-嗨 奥利 -真没想到 你在这干吗 -Hey there, Ollie. -Leave it out. What are you doing here?
是你邀请我的 还记得吗 Well, I mean, you invited me, remember?
我邀请所有坐过我车的人 I invite every person who's been in my car.
嘿 奥利 这是我朋友特伦特 Hey, Ollie. This is my friend Trent.
-特伦特 这是我兄弟奥利 -很高兴认识你 -Trent, this is my buddy Ollie. -Pleased to meet you.
恭喜 你们都认识了一个很酷的人 Congrats. You both just met a cool person.
好的 两位 你们想吃点什么 Right, gentlemen. You know what you're having?
主厨推荐什么我们就吃什么 Yeah. Well, you know, whatever the chef recommends.
那是我岳父 你们能吃一点辣吗 That would be my father-in-law. Are you okay with a little bit of spice?
就当我们是自家人的做法 Have him make it for us like we're a couple members of the family.
勇气可嘉 You're a brave man.
天 太佩服了 Oh, man. Mad respect.
这个决定可能不太明智 That might not be the wisest of choices.
来了 Here you go, boys.
-尝尝吧 -等不及了 -Dig in. -Can't wait.
这味道已经印在我脑子里了 The smell's already deep inside my brain.
-你会喜欢的 -谢谢 -Gonna love it. -I appreciate it.
无法想象堪萨斯有地道的印度料理 I can't imagine they have good Indian food in Kansas.
我不知道 我从没吃过印度料理 I have no idea. I've never had Indian food.
哇 真挺辣的 Wow, that-- I mean, that's hot.
老天 我感觉自己要喷火了 Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Feel like I'm about to breathe fire.
我觉得我吃不了 I don't think I can eat that.
什么别啊 我们得多吃点 What? No, no, no. Come on now. We gotta put a decent dent in this,
不然奥利要在他家人面前丢脸了 otherwise we're gonna embarrass Ollie in front of his family.
-不行 我真的吃不下 -这样吧 都倒进我盘子里 -No, really, I can't. -Come on, just dump it on my plate.
好的 Yeah, yeah. You're good.
既然你这么爱堪萨斯 为什么要… So, if you love Kansas so much, why did you--
为什么要离开家乡训练一种你几乎 一无所知的运动 Why did you leave to coach a sport you can barely-- you know anything about?
是为了钱吗 Was it just the money?
等等 这工作还有工资 Wait, I'm supposed to be getting paid?
食物好吃吗 Are you enjoying the food?
告诉你岳父好吃极了 Tell your father-in-law it's perfect.
爸爸他说好吃极了 Dad! He says it's perfect!
泰德 你在做的事非常不负责任 Ted. What you're doing is irresponsible.
这个俱乐部对这里的人而言意义重大 This club actually means something to this town.
我知道 I know that.
我真的知道 I do.
特伦特 你热爱什么 Trent, what do you love?
写作吗 Is it writing?
-是的 -好的 -Yes. -Yeah.
很好 因为你很擅长 Well, good, 'cause you're darn good at it.
-谢谢 -不客气 -Thank you. -You're welcome.
我呢我喜欢训练 Me? I love coaching.
我要再说一遍 Now, I'm gonna say this again
免得你认为我第一次是口误 just so you didn't think it was a mistake the first time I said it.
对我来说 成功不在于输赢 For me, success is not about the wins and losses.
而是在于帮助这些年轻人 成为最好的自己 It's about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves
不论是在球场内还是球场之外 on and off the field.
这件事不总是容易的 特伦特 And it ain't always easy, Trent,
但是伴随着质疑长大同样不容易 but neither is growing up without someone believing in you.
我问你 Let me ask you this.
我的舌头还在嘴里吗 Is my tongue still in my mouth?
因为我被辣得快出现幻觉了 'Cause I am about to hallucinate from all the heat here.
我该走了 I really should go.
-要截稿了 -好的 工作还是要做的 -Deadlines and all. -Hey, gotta do the work.
不过我还是要说 Hey, I'll say this though.
我很开心能跟你相处一段时间 特伦特 I really enjoyed getting to spend this time with you, Trent.
你是认真的 对吗 You actually mean that, don't you?
对啊 Yeah.
好吧 Yeah.
-谢谢 -不客气 -Thank you. -You're welcome.
你还好吗 You all right?
通常盘子里都会剩很多 Normally, one dish is plenty,
但我们知道你们美国人很能吃 对吗 but we know how you Americans like to eat, innit?
大吃一顿 是吧 Let's do it, huh?
试试这个 Try that one.
-很美味 对吧 -岂止是美味 超辣的 -Beautiful, right? -It's beyond beautiful. It's hot.
“威奇夫人的声音变得沉重 "Mrs. Which's voice was grave.
‘你明白什么 'What do you understand?'
必须是我 'That it has to be me.
不能是其他任何人’” Can't be anyone else.'"
该死 Fuck!
这个词不好 罗伊叔叔 That's a bad word, Uncle Roy.
管好你自己吧 菲比 Mind your own business, Phoebe.
睡吧 Be good.
（猪头）
-什么事 -我拿到了报道的样稿 -Yes? -I have an advance copy of the article.
-读给我听 -题目是《倔强的泰德》 -Read it to me. -Title: "Wayward Ted."
“不论你们如何看待 作为足球教练的泰德拉索 "Whatever you think of Ted Lasso as a football coach,
我向你们保证 真相更加令人难以接受” I assure you, the truth is harder to swallow."
-嘿 你好吗 -很好 你的鼻子怎么了 教练 -Hey, how you doing? -Good. How's your nose, Coach?
-没事 谢谢关心 -“但你必须接受 -It's fine. Thank you for asking. -"And swallow you must,
因为泰德已经在这里安营扎寨了 because Ted is out there in the community
是勇敢地接纳还是愚蠢地抗拒” either bravely or stupidly facing the music."
-嘿 你们好吗 -“由你们自己决定” -Hey, fellas. How you doing? -"That's for you to decide."
滚开 傻屌 Piss off, wanker!
-嗨 -好吧 -Hi. -Yeah.
-你干嘛 -每次都是 -Stop it. -Every time.
“没错 他的确没有准备好 "And yes, he's in over his head.
他强调了两次他不在乎里士满是输是赢 He insisted twice that he didn't care if Richmond won or lost.
但如果拉索的方法是错的 那很难想象什么是对的” But if the Lasso way is wrong, it's hard to imagine being right."
你怎么不读了 Why have you stopped reading?
请你一定要记住这些不是我说的 是特伦特克里姆的原话 Please do me the favor of remembering that these aren't my words, it's Trent Crimm.
继续读 Keep going.
-“在这里推崇自我的行业 -…推崇自我 -"In a business that celebrates ego, -...celebrates ego,
-泰德却很谦逊” -泰德却很谦逊 -Ted reins his in." -Ted reins his in.
他的训练风格很温柔 从不会对你大声斥责 His coaching style is subtle. It never hits you over the head.
你好 罗伊 我不知道这是个退休派对 Hello, Roy. I didn't know it was a retirement party.
该死 Shit!
别再招惹内特 Stop messing with Nate!
我不知道我刚才撞了谁 Now, I don't know which one of you I nutted,
因为光线太暗了 我看不清楚 'cause I don't see so well at night anymore,
但这句话是说给你们所有人听的 but that goes for all of you!
慢慢发展壮大 直到你再也无法忽视他的存在 Slowly growing until you can no longer ignore its presence.
香草伏特加 Vanilla vodka.
真够幼稚的 Such a child.
你好基莉 Keeley.
你好罗伊 Roy.
不管那意味着允许追随者成为领袖 Whether that means allowing followers to become leaders,
还是出于礼貌 or in a show of respect, eating food so spicy
吃掉肯定会让他 胃里翻江倒海的极辣的食物 it's sure to wreak massive havoc on his intestinal system.
钥匙 Keys, keys, keys.
好的 找到了 憋不住了 Okay, here we go. Oh boy. Oh boy.
尽管我相信泰德拉索终会失败 And though I believe that Ted Lasso will fail here
里士满会承受降级的尴尬 and Richmond will suffer the embarrassment of relegation,
但当那一天到来 我不会拍手称快 I won't gloat when it happens.
因为我忍不住要为他加油 Because I can't help but root for him.
该死 Fuck!