你好 我叫钱德 刚搬到对面 Hi, my name's Chandler. I just moved in next door.
想不想跟我在后末日世界 Would you like to battle me in a post-apocalyptic world...
争夺银河系仅存的能源？ for control of the galaxy's last remaining energy source?
好啊 请进 Sure, neighbor. Come on in.
吉宁在吗？ Is Janine around?
她去上舞蹈课 She's at dance class.
我可以看看她的房间吗？ Can I check my room?
可以 但是别翻她的东西 她会发疯 Don't go through her stuff. She gets really mad.
天哪 Oh, my God.
一点男人住过的痕迹都没有 It's like a guy never lived in here.
小心 这个女性风格很危险 它已经扩散了 You gotta be careful. This girl thing is dangerous. It's spreading.
是吗？ It is?
这个粉红小抱枕是你的吗？ Is this your pretty pink pillow on the couch?
不是 No.
那个什么都不能装的小盒子呢 Is that your tiny little box that's too small to put anything in?
- 也不是 - 不是 - No. - No.
没错 情况很不妙 你是男人 好吗？ Okay, this is not good. You are a guy, okay?
这是个"男人"的家 This is a "guy's" place.
你一旦失去自觉 就会开始修指甲 Soon, you'll be soaking your fingers in stuff.
- 你说得对 我会找她谈 - 找她谈 做个男子汉 - You're right. I'll talk to her. - Talk to her. Be a man.
- 我是男子汉 - 保护你自己 - I'm a man. - Defend yourself.
钱德 快点 要缝新的除尘布 We have to hem the new dust ruffle.
我马上过去 Be right there, sweetums.
情况完全不同 Totally different situation.
老友记 第六季 第八集
（中央咖徘厅）
你们好 Hey, guys.
- 跟希拉蕊吃饭吃得怎样？ - 还好 - How was breakfast with Hillary? - Okay.
她还是有点为了失恋而沮丧 She's still depressed because she broke up with her boyfriend.
就是你的性感二厨希拉蕊吗？ Is this Hillary, your hot assistant chef, Hillary?
- 没错 - 我每次进去都盯着我的那个？ - Yeah. - The one that stares at me?
是你挡路而看过你一眼的那个 No. The one who looked at you once because you got in her way.
我还是看得出来她对我有意思 Still, I could tell. She was into me.
你帮我们安排一下嘛 Why don't you set us up?
你要帮罗斯找对象？ Ooh, are you setting Ross up with someone?
她有婚纱吗？ Does she have a wedding dress?
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
瑞秋 是这样... 我在做传单找新客人 Rachel, I'm making up flyers to try to get new massage clients.
我可以去布鲁明岱尔影印吗？ So can I come to Bloomingdale's and use the copy machine?
可以 但他们会觉得奇怪 因为我已经离职了 Well, sure, but they might think it's weird considering I don't work there anymore.
天哪 怎么回事？ Oh, my God. What happened?
我跳槽到罗夫罗兰了 I got a job at Ralph Lauren.
太好了 恭喜你 Well, that's great. Congratulations.
1年了 A year ago.
你撑了1年 很好 You've lasted all year. Good for you.
你还是可以去我现在的公司印 But, Pheebs, you could still use the copy machine where I actually work.
午休时间来 免得我老板看到 But come by at lunch so my boss doesn't see you.
否则金会发疯 她本来就不太喜欢我 Kim will freak out. She already doesn't like me.
- 怪了 我的上司也不喜欢我 - 我的也是 - I don't think my boss likes me. - I don't think mine likes me either.
或许这是共通现象？ Maybe it's a universal thing.
又或许现在是上班时间 你们却在这里打混 Or maybe because you're all hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday.
上班去吧 Yeah, let's head off to work.
- 谢谢 - 不客气 - Thank you. - Sure.
说了你一定不信 You will not believe this.
我在影印室影印时 罗夫罗兰走了进来 I was making copies, and Ralph Lauren came in.
天哪 你有跟他说话吗？ Oh, my God. Did you talk to him?
一点点 他人蛮好的 Yeah, a little. He seems really nice.
- 吻功超棒 - 什么？ - Good kisser. - What?
什么？ What?
- 你亲了他？ - 没错 - You kissed him? - Totally.
真的还假的？ Phoebe, are you serious?
真的 我在里面 他进来自我介绍 Yeah, I was just in there, he came in and introduced himself.
然后我们就亲热了 The next thing I know, we're making out.
菲比 你知道他已婚吧？ Phoebe, you do know he's married?
不知道 No.
菲比 Phoebe.
难道每次跟男人亲热都要先问 What am I supposed to do, ask every guy I make out with if he's married?
我是该问 No, yeah, I should.
- 嘿 乔伊 - 嘿 - Hey, Joey. - Hey.
可以跟你谈一下吗？照片里这个小孩 Uh, can I talk to you for a second? There's a kid in this picture.
你认识吗？ 他是你的亲戚吗？ Do you, uh, know this kid? Is it a relative?
不是 我只是觉得很可爱 No. I just thought it was cute.
我就怕这样 好 Yeah, that's what I was afraid of. Okay, uh...
吉宁 我希望你住得愉快 Look, Janine, I really want you to feel at home here, but...
但你有些东西太女孩子气了 some of this new stuff, it's too girlie.
像什么？ Oh. Like what?
像这个 不认识的可爱宝宝的图片 Uh, like this. Pictures of cute babies we don't know.
我们不能挂这种东西 We can't have that.
那是安吉帝斯 她是名艺术家 Joey, it's Anne Geddes. She's a famous artist.
我不认识这个宝宝 我不知道她是不是名艺术家 I don't know this baby. I don't know if she's a famous artist or not.
我不想刁难你 但你做的改变太多了 I don't want to be a jerk, but you're changing too much around here.
对不起 我只是想让家里舒服一点 I'm sorry. I just thought I'd try and make the place a little nicer.
但是也太多了 Yeah, but it's too much stuff.
你摆了蜡烛和那个什么东西 You know, you got the candles and the "foofy schmoofer" thing here.
这里还有一幅花洒的画 Over here, you got a picture of a watering can.
- 我以为... - 我相信这个花洒定很有名 - I just thought... - I'm sure it's a famous watering can.
但是拜托啦 But come on.
浴室那个很烫的棒子是什么？ And what is with the really hot stick in the bathroom?
那是整发器 It's a curling iron.
那就没关系 Oh. Well, that's okay then.
像我的浴巾 我走进浴室 Okay, my towels, for instance. I come into the bathroom...
我的浴巾却不在地板上 and my towel is not on the floor, where I keep it.
而是挂在钩钩上 味道也不一样 It's up here on some hook. And it smells different.
- 它变干净了 - 摸起来也不一样 - It's clean. - Yeah, well, it feels different.
它变干了 It's dry.
好吧 我可以接受干净的浴巾 All right, I can make my peace with the clean, dry towels.
还有这些碎片是怎样？ Okay, also, what is with these chips you bought?
不 不 不 这是干花 用来闻的 No, no, no. It's potpourri. You're supposed to smell it.
好像夏天被放在碗里 Well, that's like summer in a bowl.
（罗夫罗兰总公司）
噢 Oh.
金 你好 Kim, hi.
嗯哼 Uh-huh.
我一直不知道 你对我的行销报告的看法 So I handed in that marketing report, and I never got to hear what you thought.
- 我没看 - 噢 - I didn't read it. - Ah.
今年的春装一定很棒吧？ So, wow, the spring line's really gonna be great this year, huh?
对 Yeah.
听说罗夫罗兰在影印室 跟某人亲热 So I hear, uh, Ralph Lauren fooled around with someone in the copy room.
从头说起 Tell me everything.
- 嘿 你们好 - 嘿 - Hey, guys. - Hey.
怎样啊？ What's up?
就是... You know...
我的天哪 Oh, my God.
你的牙齿怎么了？ What happened to your teeth?
我漂白了 I whitened them.
是吗？ Really?
你们觉得呢？ Yeah, what do you think?
我觉得我不该直视它 I think I shouldn't look directly at them.
我是说真的 Come on, seriously.
- 也白得太夸张了 - 你原来的 - They're really, really, really white. - What was wrong with your old...
牙齿呢？ human teeth?
我的确把漂白胶上得比较久 I did leave the gel on a little longer than it said to.
- 有多久？ - 1天 - How much longer? - A day.
你知道今晚要跟希拉蕊约会吧 Ross, tonight is your date with Hillary.
知道 所以我才漂白牙齿 真的有那么糟吗？ I know. That's why I did it. Are they really that bad?
不会 No. No, no, no.
放心好了 希拉蕊是瞎子吧？ You'll be fine. Hillary's blind, right?
过了今晚就是了 She will be after tonight.
瑞秋 你有没有发现... Oh, Rach. Uh, do you notice anything...?
你的牙齿？我在外面就看到了 Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside.
说了你们绝对不信 You guys are never gonna believe this...
菲比跟罗夫罗兰亲热 but Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren.
- 什么？ - 我的天哪 - What? - Oh, my God.
她去我的办公室 然后他们就亲热了 She ran into him at my office, and they just made out.
最扯的是我因此赢得老板欢心 The craziest thing is, now my boss likes me because...
她说这是这一整年最棒的八卦 it's the best gossip she's heard all year.
我今天真以我的朋友们为荣 I am proud of all my friends today.
菲比居然跟罗夫罗兰亲热 Rachel, I can't believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren.
真是忌妒死了 Ugh. I'm so jealous.
我是钱德 你活生生的男朋友 Hi, I'm Chandler, your live-in boyfriend.
拜托 Chandler, please. Come on.
你自己看 Look at him.
我不是女人 不过他还真秀色可餐 Well, I am no woman, but that is one tasty dish.
嘿 Hey.
拿去 Here. Ooh.
那个银发老帅哥是谁？ Who's the silver fox?
那是你的亲热对象 你不认得吗？ That is your make-out buddy. Don't you recognize him?
等等...菲比我爱你 吻我 Oh, wait. "Ooh, Phoebe, I love you. Kiss me, please."
那才不是罗夫罗兰 不过声音有像 That's not Ralph Lauren. It sounds like him, though.
什么？ What?
罗夫跟他一点也不像 Yeah, no, Ralph doesn't look like that guy.
他很年轻 长发落腮胡 背个大包包 He's young, and he's got long hair and a beard and a Hacky Sack...
天哪 那不是罗夫罗兰 那是影印小弟肯尼 Oh, my God. That's not Ralph Lauren. That's Kenny the copy guy.
什么？ What?
完了 我还跑去告诉我老板 Oh, God... I told my boss that someone made out with Ralph Lauren.
要是她发现我骗她 一定会更讨厌我 菲比 If she finds out that I lied to her, she is gonna hate me even more. Phoebe!
那个小弟为什么自称罗夫罗兰 Why would the copy guy say he's Ralph Lauren?
好骗你跟他亲热啊 To get you to make out with him.
噢 Oh.
也许这件能压住你的白牙 Okay, maybe this will make them look less white.
不行 Nope. Heh.
好 没有用的颜色有 Okay, so colors that don't work are...
蓝黄绿红黑白橘和紫 blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange and purple.
离约会只剩1小时 我该怎么办 I don't know what I'm gonna do. The date starts in an hour.
要是你的肤色白一点 牙齿就不会那么显眼 Ross, maybe if your skin was lighter, your teeth wouldn't look so bright.
太好了 所以我去换肤就行了 谢谢你 Oh, great. So all I need to do is get some new skin. Thank you.
我是说你可以化点妆 If we put just a little bit of makeup on you...
喔 喔 Whoa, whoa.
我们已经不是13岁了 We're not 13 anymore.
只剩这个可行的办法 Ross, this is the only thing left that has a shot at working.
她不会发现我有化妆吗？ Won't she notice I have makeup on?
拜托 半数的男人都有化妆 Half the guys out there have makeup on.
什么？ What?
半数的人 你就试试看嘛 Half the people... I mean... Just try it and see.
不要 我死也不化妆 No, I am not putting on makeup.
罗斯 帮我贴几张传单好吗？ Hello? Ross, could you put up some of these flyers for me?
魔鬼！魔鬼！ No! Demon! Demon!
这样抽屉就会香香的 旧裤袜也没浪费 Now our drawers will smell nice, and we didn't waste these pantyhose.
是啊 扔旧内衣会遭天打雷劈 God forbid we throw out old underwear.
我要去乔伊那边 You know what? I'm gonna go over to Joey's.
我们还要整理包装纸抽屉 We're supposed to organize the wrapping paper.
对 但我今天已经够女性化了 Yes, but I've really gotten in touch with my feminine side enough today.
再缝两个香袋 我们就要变成女同志了 In fact, we're two sachets away from becoming a lesbian couple.
今天的确很女孩子气 你说得对 抱歉 This has been kind of a girlie day. You're right. I'm sorry.
不会 我只是想去男人的家 It's okay. I just feel like I need to be in a guy place...
做男人做的事 do kind of a man thing.
没错 去乔伊家吧 Go over to Joey's and...
去乔伊家喝啤酒槌墙壁 drink some beer and hammer up some dry wall.
男人并非只会喝酒槌墙壁 When guys hang out, they don't just drink beer and hammer up dry wall.
女生也不会穿内衣打枕头仗 When girls hang out, we don't have pillow fights in our underwear.
对不起 我们会 I'm sorry. We do. We do.
我不知道为什么说不会 I don't know why I said that.
钱德 Hey, Chandler.
进来 我们在织隔热手套 Come on in. We're knitting potholders.
不了 乔瑟芬 No, thanks, Josephine.
罗斯 我想说... Ross, I was wondering if...
天哪 男人都死哪去了？ Oh, my God. Where are all the men?
- 嗨 金 - 嗨 瑞秋 - Oh. Hi, Kim. - Hi, Rachel.
记得我昨天说的事吗？ 其实没那回事 Uh, remember that thing that happened yesterday? Well, it didn't happen.
你没有取消台湾的布料订单？ You didn't cancel the fabric order from Taiwan?
好 有两件事没那回事 Okay, two things didn't happen.
我不是说有人在影印室 跟罗夫罗兰亲热？ Remember I told you someone made out with Ralph Lauren?
结果是假的 Well, it turns out that's not true.
是假的？那就好玩了 It's not true? Oh, that's interesting.
因为我去查过 昨天午休时间 Because I checked. Only one keycard was used to access the copy machine...
刷卡进影印室的 只有你一个 yesterday during lunch, and that keycard belonged to you, Rachel.
不...天哪 你以为我跟他亲热 Oh, no. No, no, no. Oh, God, you think I made out with him?
听着 要是你以为跟罗夫上床 就能坐上我的位子 Listen to me, if you think sleeping with Ralph is gonna get you my job...
你就错了 you are sadly mistaken.
我不想坐你的位子 真的 Oh, no. I don't want your job. I don't.
这真是天大的误会 我没跟他亲热 Oh, this is such a mistake. I didn't make out with him.
没人跟他亲热 我昨天没用我的卡 Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday.
我连刷卡都不会 I don't even know how to use my keycard.
- 嗨 罗夫 - 嗨 金 -Hi, Ralph. - Hi, Kim.
是啊 没跟他亲热 Yeah. Nothing happened.
刚才的情欲张力一触即发 You could cut the sexual tension in here with a knife.
之后我也只能去当厨师 After that, what could I do except become a chef?
嗯哼 Mm-hm.
我将来想自己开餐厅 And someday soon, I hope to open my own restaurant.
嗯 Mm.
你很善于倾听 You know, you're a really great listener.
我交往过的男人多半讲个不停 Most guys I go out with, they just talk and talk.
听到后来真想叫他们闭嘴 After a while, it's like, "Shut your mouth." You know?
我说太多了 来聊聊你吧 I've probably been talking too much. Why don't we talk about you?
说嘛 我想知道 Come on, I want to know.
好 我是长岛人 Okay. I'm from Long Island.
来纽约念书 I came to the city for college.
我有个5岁的儿子 平常喜欢 Um, I, uh, have a 5-year-old son, and in my spare time...
看看谍报小说 再来聊聊你吧 I like to read spy novels. But let's talk more about you. Hmm?
很棒的是如果先把花茎底部 在平底锅上烤一下 So if you sear the stems of the flowers first in a frying pan...
花就能开得更久 your arrangement will look fresh much longer.
好棒的小秘诀 Joey, that is such a great tip.
摩妮卡 请你出去一下 我有事找那位插花的女士 Monica, can you excuse us? I need to talk to the girl with the flowers.
乔伊 你待会过来 Okay, but, Joey, come over later.
我教你 用松果和花生酱 I'm gonna teach you how to make a bird feeder...
做喂鸟器 out of just a pine cone and some peanut butter.
我最喜欢鸟了 Aw. I love birds.
你是怎么搞的？ What is the matter with you?
- 什么？ - 你在插花 - What? - You're arranging flowers.
你还摆弄干花 You got dead flowers.
你挂扮成一朵花的宝宝照片 You've got a picture of a baby dressed like flowers.
这不是乔伊 This is not Joey.
我还是乔伊 好吗 Hey, hey, look, I am still Joey, okay?
花只不过是很好看 Flowers, they're just, you know, nice to look at.
那是一个名摄影师照的 宝宝也很有名 And that happens to be a picture by a famous artist of a famous baby.
你正在变成女人 You're turning into a woman.
我没有 No, I'm not.
你怎么这么说？ 好恶劣喔 Why would you say that? That's just mean.
我惹你生气了？我说了什么？ Now I've upset you? What did I say?
不是你说了什么 是你的口气 It's not what you said. It's the way you said it.
天哪 Oh, my God.
我是女人 I'm a woman.
现在她觉得我跟他上床 好把她踢下去 So now she thinks that I made out with him and that I did it to get her job.
- 你怎么不跟她说实话？ - 我说了 - Why didn't you just tell the truth? - I did.
但是她觉得不会有人蠢到 把影印小弟当成罗夫罗兰 She doesn't think anyone would confuse Kenny the copy guy with Ralph Lauren.
如果肯尼才是公司的首脑呢？ Well, what if Kenny were the real brains behind the whole company?
搞不好罗夫罗兰只是个门面 What if Kenny hired that Ralph guy to be the pretty front man, huh?
她想过吗？ Did she ever think of that?
你今天跟肯尼约会了吧？ You were with Kenny today, weren't you?
- 就一小会儿 - 噢 - Just for a second. - Ugh.
- 菲比 我该怎么办？ - 唔... - Phoebe, what am I gonna do? - Well...
你只好跟罗夫罗兰上床了 The only thing you can do. Sleep with Ralph Lauren.
我才不跟罗夫罗兰上床 我可以 但是我不会 I'm not gonna sleep with Ralph Lauren. I mean, I could, but I wouldn't.
跟肯尼上床 Ooh. Sleep with Kenny.
- 那样对我也没好处 - 好处可大了 - That wouldn't help me. - Oh, yes, it would.
- 今晚真的很开心 - 嗯哼 - I've had a really good time tonight. - Mm-hm.
我很少第一次约会 就这么心有灵犀 You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date.
我也是 Me neither.
我也很开心 Uh, I've had a really good time too, you know.
你要吃那块面包吗？ Are you gonna eat that bread?
我只是喜欢闻 Oh, I just like the smell.
嗯 Mm.
你好好笑 You make me laugh.
要不要去沙发上坐？ Would you like to move over to the couch?
嗯哼 Mm-hm.
我把灯光调暗一点好了 Maybe I'll just turn down the lights a little?
干脆关灯如何？ How about all the way?
好 Okay.
好酷的海报 Wow, cool poster.
还是要说好抢眼的海报 Or should I say, "groovy poster"?
呃 So, uh...
刚才聊到哪里？ where were we?
那是你的牙齿吗？ Are those your teeth?
噢 Oh.
你看得见是吧？ You can see them, huh?
对 白得很吓人 Yes. They're insanely white.
我特地为你漂白的 I did that for you.
你有毛病吗？ What's the matter with you?
我有毛病？你还装黑光灯咧 都1999年了 What's the matter with me? You've got a black light. It's 1999.
太好了 金 Oh, good. Kim, hi.
瑞秋 我一直想问你 你看过新的罗夫罗兰床单吗？ Hi, Rachel. Oh. I wanted to ask you, have you seen the new Ralph Lauren sheets?
我在想什么 你当然看过 What am I thinking? Of course you have.
好 Okay, look.
很抱歉之前对你说谎 I'm sorry that I lied to you before.
你猜得没错 罗夫和我交往过 但已经结束了 You were right. Ralph and I were an item, but we're not anymore.
是吗？ Oh, really?
对 他甩了我 Yeah, he dumped me.
他说"瑞秋 我不能这样" He said, "Rachel, I can't do this.
"虽然你真的 Even though you're a very, very...
很美很美" very beautiful woman...
"我不能这样 我有家室 对不起" I can't do this. I'm married and I'm sorry."
然后不知为何他又说 "你永远也不会升职 And I don't know why, but he said, "And you will never get promoted...
尤其不可能高过金" "她是罗夫罗兰体系 especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog...
不可或缺的重要人物" in the Ralph Lauren machine."
你以为我会相信... You expect me to believe...
- 嗨 罗夫 - 嗨 金 -Hi, Ralph. - Hi, Kim.
天哪 Oh, my God.
他看你的眼神好冷酷 彷佛对你恨之入骨 He just gave you the coldest look I've ever seen. It's like he hates you.
所以是真的罗 Then it is true.
当然是真的 我好难过 Of course it's true. And it hurts so bad.
过来 Oh, honey, come here.
你会没事的 Oh, it'll be okay.
大家都一样 We've all been there.
你和罗夫？ You and Ralph?
影印小弟肯尼 Kenny the copy boy.
（献给盖儿约瑟夫）
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
- 我有事要说 - 怎么了？你心情不好？ - Uh, I need to talk to you. - What's the matter? You upset?
我很抱歉 我们得把这些女生的东西扔掉 I'm sorry, but we gotta get rid of all this girlie stuff in here.
我得当个男人 I, uh... I gotta be a man.
客厅必须维持男人的风格 Okay? The living room has to remain a guy place, okay?
就是这样 That's just the way it has to be.
既然如此 我就拿回我房里 If that's what you want, I'll just put it all in my room.
好 Good. Great.
很好 谢谢你的谅解 And, uh, thanks for being so understanding.
我不想搞得很难看 I didn't want to make a big deal out of this.
宝宝的照片可以挂在我房里 But you could, uh, put the picture of the famous baby in my room.
如果你要的话 I mean, if you want to.
好 Okay.
花洒的画也可以 And, uh, maybe the watering can there.
好 Sure.
还有一两个小盒子 And a couple of these little tiny boxes.
乔伊 要不要都放到你房里？ Joey, do you want me to put it all in your room?
好吧 Okay.