我来此之后 已经上了十次厕所 That was the 10th time I've peed since I've been here.
你也跟我们说了十次 It's also, like, the 10th time you've told us. Ha, ha.
抱歉 你们一定听得很烦 Yeah, oh, I'm sorry, it must be hard to hear.
三个宝宝在你的膀胱上… I'll tell you, it's easier having babies playing...
蹦蹦跳跳还比较好玩 ..."Bring in 'da Noise, Bring in 'da Funk" on your bladder.
我真是受够怀孕了 I am so sick of being pregnant.
我唯一的乐趣来自咖啡… The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee...
但它是低咖啡因的 因为我怀孕了 ...which of course is decaf because, oh, I'm pregnant. Heh.
菲比 你要吃饼干吗？ Pheebs, you want a cookie?
谢谢你 Thank you so much.
菲比 你的情绪起伏还好吗？ So, uh, Pheebs, honey, how are those mood swings coming?
我还没有这个困扰 I haven't really had any yet.
- 嘿 两位 - 嘿 - Hey, guys. - Hey.
好了 这就是戒指 All right. Here's the ring.
我愿意 我愿意 千百个愿意 Yes, yes. A thousand times, yes.
单身派对有想法了吗？ So, uh, any ideas for the bachelor party?
哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
托管戒指办派对前 Before you start handing out rings and planning bachelor parties...
应该先选个伴郎吧？ ...don't you have to decide who your best man's gonna be?
真尴尬 尴尬尴尬 Oh, it's awkward. It's awkward, it's awkward.
我已经找钱德了 I sort of already asked Chandler.
什么？你上次结婚他就当过了 What? He got to do it at your first wedding.
乔伊 我以为你会了解 我们认识比较久 Joey, I figured you'd understand. I've known him a lot longer.
拜托啦 罗斯 我没有兄弟 我永远都没机会了 Come on, Ross. I don't have any brothers. I'm never gonna get to be a best man.
你可以当我的伴郎 You can be the best man when I get married.
我没机会了啦 I'm never gonna get to be a best man.
等一下 Wait, wait.
我让你当两次 你一次也不让我当？ So you get to be my best man twice, and I don't get to be yours at all?
你当然可以当我的伴郎 Oh, no. Yeah, of course, you can be my best man.
那我呢？你说我可以当 What about me? You just said I could.
我又没有要结婚 I'm not even getting married!
那是科幻小说要挑战的题材 Okay, this is a question for science-fiction writers.
不敢相信你居然不找我 你怎么可以不找我？ I can't believe you're not picking me.
- 我又没要… - 我又没要… - Hey, how could it not be me? - I'm not even...
- 我又没要… - 好 够了 - I'm not even... - All right, you know what? That's it.
从现在起你当我的伴郎 乔伊 From now on, Joey I want you to be my best man.
不过你真的很烂 Yes. Shame about you, though.
- 停下来 - 什么? - Stop it. - What?
有个宝宝在踢 One of the babies is kicking.
- 那不是好事吗？ - 不是踢我 - I thought that was a good thing. - It's not kicking me.
是踢另一个宝宝 It's kicking one of the other babies.
别逼我进去 Oh. Don't make me come in there!
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
有大碗可以借我吗？ Do you guys have, like, a big bowl I can borrow?
台子下面有一个 Yeah, there's one right under the cabinet.
- 谢谢 - 干嘛？ - Thanks. - Why do you need it?
我们明天要开派对 稍后见 Oh, we're having a party tomorrow night. Later.
你们有打算要邀请我们吗？ Hey, hey. Are you planning on inviting us?
没有 稍后见 No. No, no. Later.
嘿 崔比亚尼 给我滚回来 Hey, get your ass back here, Tribbiani!
荷尔蒙 Hormones.
菲比的意思是 What Phoebe meant was...
你们开派对怎么不邀请我们？ ...how come you're having a party and we're not invited?
那是罗斯的单身派对 所以呢？ Oh. It's Ross' bachelor party.
- 所以？ - 你们是单身汉吗？ - So? - Are you bachelors?
- 不是 - 你们是脱衣舞娘吗？ - No. - Are you strippers?
- 不是 - 那就抱歉了 - No. - Then you're not invited.
那你们也别想参加我们的派对 All right, fine. You're not invited to the party that we're gonna have either.
什么派对？ Oh, what party?
呃… Well, um...
菲比的送礼会 The baby shower for Phoebe.
送礼会？ Baby shower?
听起来就很不想参加 稍后见 Wow. That so doesn't sound like something I want to do. Later.
你们居然要帮我办派对 I can't believe I'm going to have a party!
太棒了 派对耶 Ha, ha. That's so great. A party!
- 我也不懂 - 噢 - I don't know why. - Oh.
在酒方面我的计划是… This is what I got going for the party so far liquor-wise.
- 买一大堆酒 - 很好 - Get a lot of liquor. - Great. Great.
至于邀请名单有你 我 钱德 Okay, now, uh, in terms of the invite list, obviously I got you, me and Chandler.
我会请阿甘 因为我们讨论得很大声 And I'm invite Gunther because, well, we've been talking pretty loud.
我会去 I'll be there.
听好 派对是为你办的 Oh, listen. I know it's your party...
但我想限制博物棺怪胎的人数 ...but I'd really like to limit the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.
那就别找人类学家 Yeah. Tell you what. Let's not invite any anthropologists, okay?
只找搞恐龙的就好 Just the dinosaur dudes.
好 还得买半打汽水酒 Okay, we'll need a six-pack of Zima.
你们在干嘛？ Hey, guys, what are you doing?
跟我的伴郎筹画我的单身派对 Oh, just planning my bachelor party with my best man.
祝你们办得比上次好 Yeah, well, good luck trying to top the last one.
不难 因为这次 I don't think it's gonna be that difficult, considering this one won't take place...
不会办在必胜客的地下室 ...in the basement of a Pizza Hut. Heh.
我是罗斯 Oh, I'm Ross, I'm Ross.
必胜客配不上我… I'm too good for the Hut. I'm too good for the Hut.
我得去接班 看样子没问题 Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Uh, everything so far sounds great, Joey.
总之不要太疯 Just remember, keep it on the mellow side, okay?
大家聚聚打牌 Just a couple guys hanging out playing poker.
- 不要找脱衣舞娘 好吗？ - 没问题 - No strippers or anything, okay? - You got it.
- 好的 待会见 - 耶 - Okay, see you later. - Yeah.
好好办不能疯的派对吧 Ha, ha. Have fun planning your mellow party.
会有脱衣舞娘 There's gonna be strippers there.
他没说不要啊 He didn't say anything about no strippers.
- 他刚刚才说不要的 - 我当作没听到 - He just said, "No strippers." - Oh. I chose not to hear that.
你看我买了什么… Look what I got, look what I got, look what I got.
居然有这种童装 Can you believe they made these for little people?
给乡下小孩穿的 Aw. Little Village People.
好 你看这件 我最喜欢这件 Aw, okay. Look at this one. This is my favorite.
太可爱了 Oh, that is so sweet.
菲比一定会很喜欢打扮他们 Phoebe's gonna love dressing them in these.
但到时替他们打扮的不是她 Huh. Except, uh, Phoebe's not gonna be the one who gets to dress them.
因为她不能把宝宝留着 I guess she's not gonna get to keep the babies.
天哪 这真是最今人沮丧的送礼会 Oh, my God, we are throwing the most depressing baby shower.
等等 除非送她产后可以用的礼物 Wait a minute. Unless we give her all gifts that she can use...
像普通咖啡 龙舌兰酒 ...after she's done being pregnant. Like, um, regular coffee. Tequila.
还有她一直想要的皮裤 Oh, and somebody can get her those leather pants she's always wanted.
她一定会很高兴 Oh, she's gonna love that.
这是什么玩意？ What the hell is this?
送我两个月后才能用的礼物 我的心情会好吗？ You actually thought it'd make me feel better?
给我一些我甚至不能使用另一个两个月? To give me something I can't even use for another two months?
烂透了 This sucks! Oh!
好了 下个礼物呢？我们都没带 All right, what's my next present?
对了 那个脱衣舞娘… Hey, listen, man, about the stripper...
- 怎样？ - 叫得好 - Yeah? - Good call.
请注意… A little announcement. A little announcement.
我决定我的伴郎 是我最要好的朋友阿甘 I've decided that my best man is my best friend Gunther.
我姓什么？ What's my last name?
中央咖啡厅？ Central Perk?
谢谢你没娶瑞秋 Thanks for not marrying Rachel.
阿甘 记得拿衣服 Oh, hey, Gunther. Don't forget your shirt.
嘿 那是什么？ Hey. Hey, what are those?
派对小赠品 你看 Little party favors. Check it out.
哇哦 耶 Wow, yeah.
噢… Oh, oh, oh!
请注意 Okay, little announcement.
我的伴郎人选还空着 Just want everybody to know the position of my best man is still open.
新娘人选也是 And, uh, you know, so is the position of the bride.
很好 Great.
有一套 你的脖子沾到辣椒 Smooth, man. Yeah. You got some chili on your neck.
谢谢大家 今晚很愉快 Well, I just want to say thanks, everyone. This was great.
星期一早上见 Okay? And hey, I'll see you guys Monday morning.
- 乔伊 谢了 - 别忘了拿衣服 - Thanks, Joey. - Oh, hey. Don't forget your shirt.
噢 谢谢 Oh, thanks.
好了 博物馆怪胎 派对结束了 Ahem. Okay. Hey, museum geeks. Party's over.
跟小姐说再见 快点 Okay, wave bye-bye to the nice lady. There you go.
回爸妈的地下室去 Back to your parents' basement. All right.
出来吧 来 Come on, boys, come on out. Here you go.
哦 看小鸟 Oh. Look at the birdies.
- 那些是你的？ - 是的 - Are those yours? - Yeah.
我不知道可以养鸡鸭当宠物 Wow, I didn't know they let you keep chickens and ducks as pets?
对 我把鸭子训练得很好 Oh, yeah, yeah. And I got the duck totally trained too.
你看 盯着墙壁 Watch this. Stare at the wall.
几乎不动 Hardly move.
白白的 Be white.
你真行 You are really good at that.
今晚很愉快 So I had fun tonight.
派对办得很棒 You throw one hell of a party.
谢了 很高兴认识你 Thanks, thanks. Yeah, it was great meeting you.
要是我有朋友要结婚 或是过生日 过星期二… And listen, if any of my friends ever get married or have a birthday or a Tuesday...
那就太好了 - Yeah, that'd be great. - Okay. Ha, ha.
那就再见了 So, I guess, um, good night.
除非你… 想留下来 Oh, unless you, uh... Unless you want to hang around.
是吗？对 你可以跟我的鸭子玩 - Yeah? - Yeah. I'll let you play with my duck.
嘿 Hey...
跳脱衣舞的 Stripper.
舞娘把戒指偷走了 The stripper stole the ring!
钱德 起床 舞娘把戒指偷走了 Chandler, get up, get up! The stripper stole the ring!
- 什么？ - 戒指被偷了 - What? - The ring is gone!
先让我清醒一下 Oh. Okay, just, like, give me a minute to wake up for this.
你把戒指弄丢了 你是最烂的伴郎 You lost the ring. You're the worst best man ever.
不好笑 怎么办？ Dude, this isn't funny. What am I gonna do?
我去睡觉 一切正常 I go to sleep last night, everything's cool.
等我醒来 舞娘不见了 戒指也不见了 I wake up this morning, the stripper's gone, and the ring is gone!
- 你跟她上床？ - 废话 - You slept with the stripper? - Of course!
你们两个 嗨 菲比 Hi, guys.
嗨 菲比 Hi, Phoebe.
我想说声抱歉 我昨天在送礼会上 Ahem. I wanted to apologize if I, you know, seemed a tad edgy yesterday...
似乎凶了点 ...at my shower.
荷尔蒙作祟 You know, it's just the hormones. You know?
- 别这样 我们… - 荷尔蒙嘛 - No, we... Hormones. Yeah. - Hormones.
谢谢你们 你们真有心 Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you. It was just... It was so sweet.
你似乎好多了 Wow, you seem to be doing much better.
- 太好了 你现在怎样？ - 很好 - That's great. How are things going? - Good.
最近的注意力都在我 No, but... Okay, it feels like everything's been about me lately.
你们呢？ So, what's happening with you?
我们正在说 我不去参加罗斯的婚礼 Oh. Well, actually, we were just talking about me not going to Ross' wedding.
- 有那段过往 - 我可能… - Oh. - It just might be too hard...
很难面对 ...given the history and all that.
这让我想起当年流落街头时 Wow, this reminds me of the time when I was, um, living on the street.
有人说我陪他上床就请我吃饭 And this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.
这两件事哪里像？ Well, how is this like that?
我想想… 的确不像 Well, let's see. It's not really like that.
因为那才算是问题 Because, you see, that was an actual problem.
你这只是高中女生无病呻吟 And, uh, yours is just, like, a bunch of high-school crap...
没人在乎 ...that nobody really gives... Yeah.
抱歉 我只是… Well, I'm sorry. I just thought...
泪眼攻势来了 All right, here come the waterworks.
我已经没辄了 Oh. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
我打给中介站 他们不管 I called the company that sent her, and they don't care.
我打119又被吼 And I called 911 and they yelled at me.
这还不算紧急事件吗？ If this isn't an emergency, then what is?
- 嘿 两位 - 嘿 - Hey, guys. - Hey.
谢谢你 昨晚派对办得很棒 I just wanted to thank you for last night. What a great party.
博物馆那伙人玩得很爽 And the guys from work had a blast.
其中有一个没参加过单身派对 You know, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before.
另一个没参加过任何派对 Yeah, and another one had never been to a party before, so...
那个结婚戒指 So, uh, hey, that wedding ring, huh?
- 可真漂亮 - 漂亮吧 - Man, that is nice. - Yeah. Yeah, right?
我也想买一只 Yeah, I was thinking I might pick one of those babies up for myself.
要去哪里买？ Where might one get one of those?
那只戒指？我奶奶刚来到这个国家时 That ring, when my grandmother first came to this country...
全身上下只有那只戒指 和一小包衣服 ...that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her.
所以那只戒指可说是无可取代 So you might say that the ring is irreplaceable.
当然 它是我家的传家宝 Oh, absolutely. It's been in my family for generations.
每个戴上它的新娘 都能幸福到老 And every bride who's worn it has lived a long and happy life.
所以简直算是一只魔戒 So you might say it's a magic ring.
被脱衣舞娘偷了 Yeah, the stripper stole it.
我的戒指？我的结婚… My ring? My wedding ring?
脱衣舞娘偷了我的结婚戒指？ The stripper stole my wedding ring?
怎么会这样？ How? How could this happen?
原因就在于你说了 "乔伊 你来当我的伴郎吧" Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey, Joey, why don't you be my best man."
好 我来报警 All right, all right. Fine. I'm gonna call the cops.
我搞砸了你也不用报官捉我啊 Dude, I screwed up. You don't have to turn me in.
- 不是捉你 是捉那个舞娘 - 我试过了 - Not on you, on the stripper. - Oh, yeah, well, I already did that.
他们说等侦破所有谋杀案再说 They said they're gonna look into it right after they solve all the murders...
好 那就找中介站 Okay, we'll call the company that sent her.
我也试过了 I did that too.
他们不肯透露她的真名或电话 They wouldn't give me her name or number.
他们说我再打去就要报警 They said if I bother them again, they'd call the police.
我说"你去啊 就说我掉了一只戒指" I said, "You talk to the police, you tell them I'm missing a ring."
难道一点办法也没有？ So, what, Joey? What are you telling me? That there's nothing we can do?
- 怎么会这样？ - 罗斯 我真的很抱歉 - How could this happen? - Look, Ross, I am so, so sorry.
我们何不再叫她一次 Well, what if we just, uh, called her...
用假名把她找去我的办公室 ...used a fake name and had her come to my office?
好像不赖 但我们得找戒指 Oh, that sounds like fun, but we got a ring to find!
菲比 你的茶 Here's your tea, Phoebe.
感觉真好 Mm. It's so good.
谢谢 Oh, thanks. That's sweet.
- 那就好 - 你喜欢就好 - Good. - So glad you like it.
怎样？ What?
茶是她泡的 What? She made the tea.
不是 我刚才阵痛了 No, I think I just had a contraction.
- 什么？ - 天哪 - You what? - My God.
几分钟前就有一次 Yeah, I thought I felt one a couple minutes ago.
- 这次绝对错不了 - 你不能在这里生 - And now I know that definitely was one. - Well, you can't have the baby here!
男生搬走之后我还没消毒 I haven't sterilized the apartment since the guys moved out!
没事 别怕 It's okay. We're gonna be okay.
我来烧水 撕床单 You know what? It's okay. I'm gonna boil some water and just rip up some sheets.
别紧张 可能是假性阵痛 Ow, it's all right. It's probably false labor.
他们说接近预产期会这样 They said that, that can happen near the end. So just...
- 去拿书来 - 瑞秋 拿书来 - Somebody get the book. - Rachel, get the book.
书 好 The book. Okay. Okay. Here.
- 《圣经》？ - 我哪知啊 - The Bible? - I don't know!
好 很好 All right. Okay, okay. This is great.
钱德 你站到桌子后面 Uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk.
但愿她一进来不会认得你 因为… And when she comes in, hopefully she won't recognize you because...
她怎么会认得你 Well, why would she?
然后你对罗斯和我打暗号 Uh, okay. And then you buzz Ross and I.
你是冈萨勒斯先生 我是王先生 You be Mr. Gonzales, and I'll be Mr. Wong.
民族大熔炉 Diverse.
有人叫警卫吗？ STRIPPER: Anybody call for security?
你们冷静 You be cool.
好 哪位是阿甘中央咖啡厅？ Okay. Which one of you guys is Gunther Central Perk?
嘿 乔伊 Hey, Joey.
我的戒指呢？我过世的奶奶的结婚戒指呢？ Where's my ring? My dead grandmother's wedding ring! Where is it? Where is it?
你还真冷静 Way to be cool, man.
他在说什么？ - What's he talking about? - Oh!
床头柜的丝绒盒里有只戒指 There was a ring in a box on my nightstand.
你一走它就不见了 After you left, it was gone.
你们认为我偷了戒指？ Wait, you guys think I stole some ring?
对 Yeah.
定是你偷的 少废话 从实招来 We know you took it! So just save yourself the time and confess.
你们是少年侦探团吗？ Okay, Who are you, the Hardy Boys?
我不必偷什么白痴戒指 I don't need to steal some stupid ring.
我一星期赚一千六 I make $1,600 a week doing what I do.
你们有人赚那么多吗？ Any of you guys make that?
嫁给我 Marry me.
我不懂 戒指整晚都在我房里 I don't get it. It was in my room all night. If she didn't take it...
她没拿 我没拿 你没拿 那是谁拿的？ ...and I didn't take it and you didn't take it. Then who did?
安静 我们在想事情 Shh. We're trying to think.
你怎么会知道是假痛？ I still don't get how you know when it's false labor.
你有看到宝宝吗？ Well, do you see any babies?
你感觉如何？还好吧 - How do you feel? - Okay, I guess. I mean...
我不知道 I don't know.
大概是知道快要结束了 I guess I know it's going to be over soon so...
那不是很好吗？ But isn't that a good thing?
- 你说你受够了 - 我知道 - I mean, you said you were sick of this. - I know.
只是通常怀孕完之后 It's just usually, when you're done with the pregnant thing...
就是当妈妈 ...then you get to do the mom thing.
我却会穿着皮裤喝龙舌兰酒 I'm gonna be, you know, sitting around in my leather pants, drinking tequila.
有些妈妈也会那样 Some moms do that.
那样更悲惨 Yeah, that's even sadder.
我知道这么做的复果 Look, I know what I got myself into, you know?
但他们现在在我肚子里 It's just that now that they're in me, it's like...
我彷佛了解他们 It's like I know them, you know, and...
把他们送走时我会很难受 It just not gonna be easy when, you know, these little babies have to go away.
我知道 Oh. I know, sweetie.
但你并不会一无所有 But it's not like you're not gonna have anything.
你会有侄子 侄女 I mean, you're gonna have nieces and nephews.
那样甚至更棒 In some ways, that's even better.
- 少来 - 不 是真的 - Yeah, okay. - No, really.
你不必担心他们的大学学费 I mean, you're not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college.
或在他们不乖时骂他们 Or yelling at them when they're bad.
或在他们吵个不停时 You know? Or deciding to put them on Ritalin...
喂他们吃立得宁 ...when they just won't calm down.
知道吗？ You know?
他们逃家会来找你 You're gonna be the one they come to when they run away from home.
会找你讨论性的问题 And the one they talk to about sex.
你可以当酷阿姨菲比 You just get to be cool Aunt Phoebe.
酷阿姨菲比 Cool Aunt Phoebe.
我是蛮酷的 I am pretty cool.
还有 他们一定会爱死你 Yeah, and you know what else? Oh, my God, are they going to love you.
他们会爱死我 They are going to love me.
谢谢你们… 再次成谢 Thanks, you guys. Again.
喔 不客气 Oh, sweetie.
- 谢谢 喔… - 怎么了？ - Thanks. Oh! - What? Oh, God.
开玩笑的 Just kidding.
- 怎么了？ - 天哪 - Ah! - Oh, my God.
又骗到了 你们真好骗 Got you again. You're so easy.
- 要是他发生什么事… - 乔伊 兽医说手术很简单 - If anything should happen to him... - Joey, the vet said it's a simple procedure.
所以呢？搞不好会出错 要是他没撑过来呢？ So? Things can go wrong. You don't know. What if he doesn't make it?
- 他会的 - 要是没有呢？ - He will, Joe. - Yeah, but what if he doesn't?
他这么乖巧 He's such a good duck.
我好担心他 I'm so worried about him.
有人掉了戒指吗？ Somebody lose a ring?
天哪 谢谢你 谢谢 Oh, my God. Thank you. Thank you so much. Aah!
鸭子怎么样？ How's the duck?
他很好 正在休息 你们可以去见他 He's doing just fine. You'll see him in a bit.
- 噢 - 太好了 - Oh. - Great.
听着 罗斯 谢谢你这么好脾气 Oh, hey, listen, Ross, thanks for being so cool about this.
- 没关系 - 当然有关系 - No, that's all right. - No, it's not.
你找我当伴郎 我却让你失望 I mean, you made me your best man and I totally let you down.
- 又不是你的错 - 当然是 - Hey, come on. It's not your fault. - Yeah, it is.
你就不会弄丢戒指 You wouldn't have lost the ring, right?
你知道吗？罗斯 你是对的 You know what? Ross, you were right from the start.
- 他才应该当你的伴郎 - 不 应该你当 - He should be your best man. - No, you should.
- 别吵了 - 嘿 - Look, don't argue with me. - Hey, hey, hey.
伴郎是我选的 I get to choose my best man.
你们两个我都要 I want both you guys.
真的？ Really?
你们都应该陪我站在台前 Both you guys should be up there with me.
你们是我的… I mean, you two are my...
有一个好朋友就… I mean, I'm lucky to have just one good...
谢了 Well, thanks, man.
我去那边看看 I got to go check something, okay?
- 真孩子气 - 有够爱哭的 - What a baby. - Total wuss.