前情提要 Previously on...
好吧 我爱你 我说了 All right, I love you. There. I said it.
感情被勇敢地表达出来 Feelings were stated boldly.
我想我是时候该对男人放手了 你也可以像我这样 I think it's time for me to give up on men. You could always just do what I did...
浪漫的建议被提出 和女人约会 A romantic suggestion was made. Date chicks? Oh.
一个计划在秘密执行 他想当你的经纪人 And a plan was hatched... He wants to represent you.
他们希望你即刻去纽约 Aah! They want you in New York immediately.
以破坏一段爱情 这是千载难逢的机会 To break up a romance... This is a huge opportunity.
最棒的是她与伯伦相距千里 The best part is she is miles away from the nearest Bolen.
然而青葱的爱情是不可阻挡的 But young love couldn't be stopped.
自从加布丽尔·索利斯做了母亲 Since she'd become a mother,
她学到了很多东西 Gabrielle Solis had learned many things...
如何把口香糖从遥控器上抠下来 How to get gum off a remote control...
如何把娃娃拯救于下水口之中 How to rescue a doll from the disposal...
在哪儿可以找到糟糕的成绩单 And where to find disappointing report cards.
加布丽尔同样明白了 Gabrielle had also learned
无论她多么努力 that no matter how hard she tried...
又是麦片粥 Cereal again?
也无法让所有人都满意 She couldn't please everyone.
是啊 你的又一顿免费早餐 Yes, another free meal you didn't have to work for.
知足吧 西利娅 下楼来 It's tough being 7. Celia, get down here!
安娜常给我们做熏肉 Ana used to make us bacon.
我想她了 I miss her.
是啊 她还常常洗衣服擦玻璃 Yeah, well, she also used to do the laundry and the windows,
我更想她 西利娅 牛奶倒好了 so I miss her more. Celia, the milk is poured!
对了 我今天要带纸杯蛋糕去学校 Oh, I need cupcakes for school today.
今天 要带多少 Today? How many?
妈妈 Mom!
三打 Three dozen.
你昨天晚上怎么不告诉我 Why didn't you tell me this last night?
我忘了 有火腿没 我想吃肉 I forgot. We got any ham? I need meat.
亲爱的 你打算去干洗店拿我的西服吗 Babe, are you gonna pick up my suit from the dry cleaners?
是的 等我叠好衣服 煎好火腿 Yes, after I fold the laundry, fry up some ham
再凭空变出三打纸杯蛋糕之后再说 and pull three dozen cupcakes out of my ass!
-妈妈 -干嘛 Mom! What?!
我的脸好痒 My face itches.
那是什么 蚊子咬的吗 What are those, mosquito bites?
天哪 看着像是水痘 Whoa. That looks like chicken pox.
不行 不行 我可没时间对付病小孩 No. No! No! No! I don't have time for sick kids!
别管干洗的事了 你得带她去看医生 Forget the dry cleaning. You gotta take her to the doctor.
天哪 你怎么会得水痘 我就没得过 什么 等等 Oh, god. What do you do for chicken pox? I've never had 'em. What? Stop.
-为什么 -你不能靠近她 Why? You can't go anywhere near her.
如果你没有得过 你就没有抗体 If you've haven't had them, you're not immune.
你得离开这里 亲爱的 西利娅生病了 In fact, you gotta get out of here. Honey, Celia is sick.
水痘对成人很危险 快走 我得洗衣服 Chicken pox is dangerous for adults. Go. I have to do the laundry.
-还有盘子要洗 -这里有我呢 I've got dishes... I will take care of the house.
没错 加布丽尔作为母亲学到了很多 Yes, Gabrielle had learned many things as a mother.
其中最重要的就是 The most important...
回见 See ya.
见好就收 Was to get while the getting was good.
诱惑 Seduction...
肥皂剧迷们都知道 Any soap opera fan will tell you,
是一门用在脆弱的对象上 it's an art best practiced...
停 Stop.
最容易得手的艺术 On those who are vulnerable.
早上好 Hey there.
你饿吗 You hungry?
现在饿了 Oh, I am now.
什么味道这么香 What's that amazing smell?
肉桂奶油法式土司 Uh, cinnamon brioche French toast.
我不能再吃了 可你厨艺太好了 Oh, but I probably shouldn't. You're such an amazing cook.
我已经快穿不下原来的衣服了 I'm already having trouble fitting into my clothes.
给你加点枫糖浆 Oh. Uh... You need some maple syrup.
你连枫糖浆都加热了 Oh, seriously, you heated the syrup?
你真是太好了 You're unbelievable.
吃这个应该趁 Mmm. You should eat it while it's still...
热 Hot. Mm.
瞧 Mmm! Oh, no. Look.
我把糖浆吃的满身都是 I just got syrup all over me.
不知道自己怎么搞的 I don't know what it is with me.
总是会弄脏 I just... have to get dirty.
你的 You...
内衣上也有一些 Got some on your bra, too. Oh.
我来帮你 I'll get it.
别这样 这样不对 Please. It's wrong.
那为何感觉会这么好 Then why does it feel so right?
凯瑟琳 你起来了吗 Katherine? You up yet?
太好了 我刚才叫你 可你没听见 Oh, good. I was calling, but you didn't hear me.
我想你是开着电视睡着了 I think you feel asleep with the TV on.
早餐想吃什么 So what would you like for breakfast?
除了法式土司其他都行 Anything but French toast.
你不会在这里待那么久的 Oh, I don't think you'll be here that long.
我想到了 I got it.
我给小宝宝想到了一个完美的名字 I got the perfect name for the baby.
帕特里夏 Patricia.
我考虑一下 Let me think about it.
不行 No.
为 为什么 多好的名字 Wh... Why not? It's a great name.
我告诉你了 我想纪念我的婶婶 我们会给她取名叫波莉 I told you, I want to honor my aunt. We're naming her Polly.
波莉[鹦鹉名] Polly?
好吧 你去装上假腿 我去戴上眼罩 Okay, you get a peg leg, I'll get an eye patch,
然后把她放在肩上去散步[海盗习惯带着鹦鹉] and we'll carry her around on our shoulders.
-早上好 佩妮 -宝贝 Morning, penny. Oh, hey, baby.
我的煎饼在哪儿 Mwah. Where are my pancakes?
亲爱的 我今天很忙 Oh, sweetie, I've got a lot going on today.
周末给你做煎饼吧 可我每年生日都有煎饼的 I'll make you pancakes this weekend. But I always get pancakes on my birthday.
是啊 That's... right.
确实是这样 You do.
但是 But...
今年 我们为你准备了 We... have... An even bigger treat
-更丰盛的招待 -没错 planned for you this year. Yeah.
是什么 What?
现在告诉你岂不是没有惊喜了 Oh! Like I'm gonna tell ya and ruin the big surprise!
-你怎么能把她的生日都忘了 -我 How could you forget her birthday? Me?
我是孕妇 有时候连裤子都会忘记穿 I'm pregnant. I forget pants sometimes.
你又有什么借口 What's your excuse?
惊喜是什么 What's my surprise?
我们现在怎么办 What the hell are we gonna do?
你掩护 我来搞定 Cover me. I'm going in.
生日早餐 Birthday breakfasts...
是糊弄小朋友的 Are for kids.
既然你已经十一岁了 Now that you're 11,
我打算给你做一顿 I was planning to make you...
史上最好的 The best...
生日晚餐 Birthday... dinner ever,
有各种装饰 with decorations...
无数的礼物 Tons of presents...
钉尾巴[一种多人游戏] Pin the tail on the...
你忘了我的生日 You forgot my birthday. Wow.
这我没办法掩护 宝贝 There was no covering that, babe.
你比他更像个男人 You're twice the man he is.
不知雷蒙多会怎么说 What's raymundo gonna say
要是他发现蒂凡尼和他弟弟睡了 when he finds out Tiffany's sleeping with his brother?
哎呀 你们就别想知道了 Alas, you'll never know.
妈 我们只是在休息 Oh, hey, mom. We... we were just taking a break.
我猜也是 So I gathered.
如果你不介意的话 泰德 我想 -跟我儿子谈谈 -好的 谈吧 If you don't mind, tad, I'd like to speak to my son. Sure. Go ahead.
私人谈话 泰德 In private, tad.
哦 所以你想让我 Oh! So you want me to...
去别的地方待会 没错 Be anyplace else but here, right.
怎么了 Uh, so... so what's up?
外面有辆卡车 There's a truck outside
上面装了我们订的 with the flower arrangements we ordered for the Adams party...
一百盆花 All 100 of them.
等等 但是我们只订了十盆 Wait. But we only ordered ten. That's what I said.
我也这么说 然后递送员给我看了发票 Then the delivery man showed me this invoice.
开始我还怀疑 那是不是泰德的签名 At first I wasn't sure if that was tad's signature,
不过当我发现 他名字都拼错的时候 but when I saw that his name was misspelled...
我就确定是他了 I knew it was him.
你想要我跟他谈谈吗 不 我希望你在我用大木勺 Uh, would you like me to talk to him? No. I would like you to hold him down
打他的时候 帮我按住他 while I strike him with a large wooden spoon.
算了 我会处理好的 Whatever. I-I'll take care of it.
你会怎么跟他说 What are you going to say to him?
你看 奥森出事的时候 Look, when... when Orson had his accident,
-你是不是就让我来负责了 -是的 did you or did you not put me in charge? Yes,
不过我现在觉得你还没准备好 but I am starting to think that you are not ready.
如果你不给我犯错和从错误中学习的机会的话 Look... I'm never gonna figure this job out
我永远都不会知道该如何做好这份工作 unless you let me make mistakes and learn from them.
安德鲁 我明白 但是 I realize that, Andrew, but you're making...
妈妈 我知道你很有一套 Mom, I know you have your control issues,
但是当发生事情的时候 你要学着 but when stuff happens, you're gonna have to learn
放轻松点 让我自己去收拾乱摊子 好吗 to just relax and... and let me clean up my own messes, okay?
嘿 这些花你们想放在哪 Hey, where do you want all these flower arrangements?
哦 没问题 泰德 Oops. No problem, tad.
幸好我们有备用的 As luck would have it, we've got extra.
罗伊 我们有客人 你等会再看你的肥皂剧 Mmm! - Roy, we've got guests. - You can watch your soap later.
罗伊 来吧 Come on, Roy.
再一次谢谢你们 邀请我们过来吃早午餐 Well, again, thank you for inviting us over to brunch.
每道菜看起来都很美味 Everything looks delicious. Yeah, it does, doesn't it?
确实如此 对吧 凯伦 Right, Karen?
你知道我在想什么 You know what I want.
有客人来的时候 我可以吃盐 When company comes over, I get to use salt.
罗伊在进行低盐饮食 Roy's on a low-sodium diet.
"不放盐"就等于"味同嚼蜡" "No sodium" is code for "tastes like socks."
去告我吧 因为我不想让你去死 So sue me 'cause I don't want you dropping dead.
听听你们俩说的 Listen to you two.
你们就像一对甜蜜的老夫老妻 You sound like a sweet, old married couple.
你有没有想过 So... have you ever thought
娶这个正直的女人凯伦为妻呢 of making an honest woman out of Karen?
你在干什么 What are you doing?
我只是想让他们跟我们一样幸福 Oh. I just want them to be as happy as we are.
我们很幸福 Uh, we're happy.
同居很适合我们 Living in sin suits us just fine.
凯伦也这么想吗 Is that how Karen feels?
苏珊 为什么不尝尝这个煎蛋饼呢 Susan, why don't you, uh, try this frittata?
凯伦不在乎婚姻 Karen doesn't care about marriage.
是吧 小南瓜 Do you, pumpkin?
给你 Here.
多吃点盐 Have some more salt.
我一直以为你不在乎的 I always figured you'd say no.
那为什么你不竖起耳朵好好听一听 So why don't you grow a pair and find out?
你认真的吗 Are you serious?
她当然是认真的 Of course she's serious.
好吧 Fine.
麦克 帮我一下 好吗 Mike, give me a hand, will you?
哦 天啊 这真是太浪漫了 Oh, my god! This is so romantic.
凯伦 你愿意 Karen, will you...
天啊 Son of a bee.
那是我助听器的电池 There's the battery to my hearing aid.
好吧 好吧 Okay, okay.
凯伦 你愿意嫁给我吗 Karen... Do you wanna marry me?
上帝啊 我不知道该说什么了 这太突然了 Golly, I don't know what to say. This is all so sudden.
快回答 我的膝盖很疼 Answer. My knee hurts.
非常愿意嫁给你 罗伊 I would love to marry you, Roy.
太好了 Yes!
加布只是在这住几天 So if Gaby's just staying a couple of days,
为什么她要带三个箱子 why'd she bring three suitcases?
她说她的大部份衣服也没得过水痘 She said most of her dresses haven't had chicken pox either.
那真是太棒了 Oh! That... was amazing.
我刚在大白天的 打了个盹 I just took a nap in the middle of the day.
孩子不在 有点不同吧 你开玩笑吗 Guess it's a little different without kids, huh? Oh, you kidding me?
自从胡安妮塔出生后 我就没睡过午觉 I haven't taken a nap since Juanita crowned.
你刚才描述了一幅 这个房子里面 Okay, you just created a visual that is
禁止出现的画面 小心点 forbidden inside these walls. Try to watch that.
给你 你刚好赶上了餐前酒 水晶杯子 Here. You're just in time for pre-dinner cosmos. In a crystal glass?
哦 西利娅六个月前打碎了我们的最后一个 Mm. Oh! Celia broke our last one six months ago.
我用史酷比的 滑稽杯子喝鸡尾酒 I've been drinking my cocktails out of a Scooby-doo sippy cup.
我上天堂了 Mmm! I'm in heaven.
今天是电影之夜 你看过这个吗 Mmm. So it's movie night. Have you seen this?
那是会说话的企鹅 还是打篮球的狗 Does it have a talking penguin or a dog that plays basketball?
不是 是无缘无故的性和大量的暴力 耶 艺术片 No, just gratuitous sex and lots of violence. Yay! Art!
有人杯子空了 Ahh! Uh-oh. Somebody's glass is empty.
这也是这个房子里 禁止出现的 That's also forbidden inside these walls.
我知道我不太了解你们 不过 Oh! I know I don't know you guys that well, but...
我爱你们 I love you.
你还好吗 天啊 Mmm. Oh, wow. Are you okay? Oh, my god.
-佩妮 -好了 该切蛋糕了 Penny? All right, it's time for cake.
我买了你最喜欢的 巧克力的吗 I got your favorite. Chocolate?
我买了你第二喜欢的 I got your second favorite.
-妈妈 -怎么 Mom? Yes?
我半小时后有个约会 我现在能走吗 Uh, I have a date in half an hour. Can I go now?
不 你不能走 No, you cannot go.
普雷斯顿在欧洲 帕克在乐队训练 Preston's in Europe. Parker's at band practice.
-你代表了所有兄弟 -妈妈 You are representing all siblings. Mom...
我们忘记她的生日你不觉得很难过吗 Don't you feel bad we forgot her birthday?
我没忘记 我今早送了她礼物 I didn't forget. I gave her a present this morning.
你们做父母的失误 不要推在我身上 So don't take it out on me that you and dad failed as parents.
我们把最好的抚育都给了你 Oh. We used up all our good parenting on you.
所以你才这么讨人喜欢 That's why you're so delightful.
好吧 Okay.
我们来了 Here we go!
一 二 三 Hee-hee! One, two, three...
波利是谁 Who's Polly?
天啊 Oh, my god!
删掉 删掉 删掉 Erase, erase, erase.
宝贝 我很抱歉 Sweetie, I am so sorry.
我不知道你是否了解 You know, I don't know if you know this,
但是怀孕的女人都会有点精力不集中 but pregnant women get a little scattered.
那时我跟你爸爸 在讨论婴儿的名字 And then your dad and I were talking about baby names,
我打电话给面包房 然后就 and I got on the phone with the bakery, and...
这真是个可怕的借口 Which is clearly a terrible excuse,
我真的很抱歉 让我弥补一下 and again, I am so sorry. Let me fix this.
变得更糟了 Hey! That just made it worse,
你喜欢小狗吗 and how would you like a puppy?
还是算了吧 Forget it.
你还没拆你的礼物呢 But you haven't opened your presents yet.
回来啊 Come back...
她叫佩妮 Penny.
我知道她叫什么 I know her name.
央行于周四提升了利率 尼克 - The central bank Thursday raised interest rates... - Nick!
我在这 怎么啦 Yeah. What? What's going on?
丹尼走了 听听这个 Danny took off. Listen to this...
不想吵醒你们 我和艾迪去露营 "didn't want to wake you. Went camping with Eddie.
我必须将整个事情的头绪理清 "Had to clear my head about the whole Ana thing.
另 可以给我打电话 但我不见得会接 P.s. Took my cell, but doubt we'll have reception."
真有他的 Good for him.
你疯了吗 他可从来没有独自出去过 Are you crazy? He's never been by himself.
他知道酒后如何从饭馆里出来 也知道如何在树下撒尿 He knows how to drink out of a canteen and pee on a tree.
-我相信他自己能行的 -别开玩笑 I think he'll be fine. This isn't funny.
他应该之前征得我们同意吗 当然 Look, should he have asked us? Okay, yeah.
但我认为这没有什么大不了 But I think it's healthy.
更何况是和艾迪出去 Hey, better hiking with Eddie
总比独自窝在房间里服药要好 than alone in his room with a bottle of pills.
我不知道 I don't know.
他已经19岁了 最终 我们要让他过上正常的生活 He's 19. Eventually, we gotta let him live a normal life.
他永远不会过上正常的生活的 He's never gonna have a normal life.
我们全都不会 None of us will.
我知道问题在我们这边 先生 I realize the mistake was ours, Mr. Tan,
但我该拿那另外90盆花怎么办呢 but what am I supposed to do with 90 extra floral arrangements?
如果我中止跟你的生意往来 Well, it will be your problem
这就算是你的错了 if I stop doing business with you.
我能为你做什么 Yes. What can I do for you?
确切地说 应该是我为你做什么 Actually, the question is what can I do for you?
抱歉 你有预约吗 I'm sorry. Did we have an appointment?
没有 但我为见您 已等了很长时间 No, but I've been wanting to meet you for such a long time,
当我早上醒来 我告诉自己 今天是时候了 and when I woke up this morning, I told myself today is the day.
我能坐下吗 不 不 还不行 你想干什么 先生 May I sit? No, no. Not just yet. What is it you want, mister...
艾伦 山姆·艾伦 Allen. Sam Allen. Allen. Sam·Allen.
我关注您的业务很久了 霍吉太太 I've been following your career for a while now, Mrs. Hodge.
我曾经参加过您举办的一些酒会 I've been to some parties you've catered,
我读过您的烹饪书 and I've got your cookbook,
我看过您所有的访谈录 I've read every interview you've ever done,
我觉得您非常优秀 and I think you're quite amazing.
真不错 现在让我们跳过 这一让我怀疑 How nice. Now let's skip to the part where you assure me
你是个疯狂的暗恋者的部分 that you're not some deranged stalker.
绝不是 我想为您工作 Hardly. I want to work for you.
做什么 Doing what?
任何事情 每件事情 Anything. Everything.
我很忙 艾伦先生 I'm very busy, Mr. Allen.
如果你愿意 你可以将你的履历交给我助理 If you'd like, you could leave your résumé with my assistant...
我曾经在商学院 担任副主席 I worked as a sous-chef to put myself through business school,
并以优异的成绩毕业 where I graduated at the top of my class.
我很明确将来的发展方向 I know my way around a kitchen and a calculator.
所以我并不要求高薪 反正现在还不 And I'm not asking you to pay me a lot of money, not yet anyway.
我想在你这里从基础学起 I want to learn your business from the ground up,
然后 我会帮助你拓展业务 真的 and then I want to help you expand it. Really?
你是一个对传统观念 有着独特见解的女人 You're a woman who has something to say about traditional values,
我认为我们的国家 已准备好去聆听 and I think our country's ready to listen.
我受宠若惊 I am flattered...
但我这里的员工已经够多了 But I'm also fully staffed,
说实话 我也不知怎么用你这个人才 对不起 and I honestly wouldn't know how to use you. I'm sorry.
我也是 So am I.
对了 那个附加的鲜花订单 In regard to the extra floral arrangements,
你可以将它们捐赠给一家医院 you could donate them to a hospital
将支出记为公益性捐赠 and record the loss as a charitable contribution.
同时 如果你将订单一分为二 And if you split the arrangements in half,
你就可以申报双倍的金额 you could double the amount you claim.
仅供参考 Just a thought.
艾伦先生 Mr. Allen?
现在你可以坐下了 Now you can sit.
你好 你害羞的新娘在哪里 Hey. Where's your blushing bride?
她在楼上 你有什么事情 Upstairs in the can. What do you want?
没什么 我给你们带这个来了 Well, I thought I would drop this off.
这是我找到的一束捧花 It's a bouquet I found.
你不觉得这个很配凯伦吗 Don't you think it'll be perfect for Karen?
你不觉得你已经做得够多了吗 什么 Haven't you done enough already? Huh?
我和本来之间 本来挺好的 We had a good thing going... Me and Karen.
因为你 我们得结婚 把感情毁了 Now 'cause of you, we're gonna get married and ruin it.
结婚并没有伤害到你们的感情 Getting married isn't gonna ruin it.
婚姻会让感情更好 It's gonna make it better.
不 它就像是盐 No, it isn't. It's like salt.
什么 What?
我一生从没在乎过盐 All my life, I never cared about salt,
但是当医生告诉我不能再吃盐时 but when my doctor said I couldn't have it anymore,
我却开始对它充满渴望 I started craving it.
等等 你 Wait. Are, uh...
你是说 You telling me that...
你要欺骗凯伦 You're gonna cheat on Karen?
我在社区中心上健身课的时候 I go to a stretching class at the center.
有一位蓝发的女士常常坐在我前面 There's a lady with blue hair, always sits in front of me.
她去了六个月 我从没和她搭话 Six months she's been there. I never gave a crap about her.
但今天早上 在你告诉我 But this morning, 48 hours after you told me
我必须向凯伦求婚的48小时后 I had to propose to Karen,
我又看到了那个蓝发女郎 I'm looking at ol' blue hair,
我舔了舔我的嘴唇 and I'm smacking my lips.
是咸的 Salt.
你已经八十岁了 罗伊 You're 80 years old, Roy.
准确的说 Infidelity is...
这样很危险 Dangerous.
我的体征已经80了 My body's 80,
但内心深处 我还是个棒小伙 but inside, I'm still a Randy teenage boy.
苏珊 我告诉你 Susan, I'm telling ya,
我必须得在死前亲吻别的女人 I have to kiss some other women before I die.
不行 打消这个念头吧 Well, you can't, so forget it.
想想凯伦 她多么爱你啊 Just think about Karen and how much she loves you,
如果你这样想 我相信你能忍住 and if you do that, I'm sure you'll be able to resist
任何不合时宜的欲望 好吗 any inappropriate urges, okay?
嗯 Mm!
哇 Mwah!
没错 就是这样 Yeah, that's the stuff.
你的老婆被人非礼了 很可笑吗 How is your wife being molested funny?
只不过是被一位八十岁的老头强吻了而已 可惜他没有摸我的屁股 It was just a kiss from an 80-year-old man. Well, it's too bad he didn't grab my ass.
要不然你肯定笑的满地打滚 那你要我怎样 打他一顿 You'd be rolling on the floor. What do you want me to do, beat him up?
用网球打断他的拐杖 算了 别谈我的事了 Take the tennis balls off his Walker? Okay, forget about me.
那你怎么看他对凯伦做的事情 What about what he's doing to Karen?
我是说 他们快要结婚了 I mean, they're about to get married,
他却不愿对婚姻忠诚 and he has no intention of being faithful.
因为他觉得自己被束缚住了 这又是谁的错 别用芥末指着我 Because he feels trapped. And whose fault is that? Don't point the mustard at me.
苏珊 我看到了整个事情的经过 Susan, I was there.
你强迫他结婚 You practically forced him into this.
好吧 我错了 Okay. I made a mistake.
我不知道他是侏罗纪的舞男 I didn't know that he was some sort of Jurassic gigolo.
我得马上告诉凯伦去 I have to tell Karen about this right now.
别这样做 你管得已经够多了 No. You've meddled enough.
我不能让她在知道真相后还嫁给他 Well, I can't let her marry him, knowing what I know.
苏珊 他只是犹豫而已 Susan, he's having second thoughts.
我是说 这世上没有已婚的男人 I mean, come on, there's not a married man on earth
在结婚之前没犹豫过的 哦 是吗 who didn't have second thoughts before he got married. Oh, really?
我不是那意思 Well... Co... I didn't mean...
好了 算了吧 Okay, I'm done.
再见 男孩们 谢谢你们载我一程 Mwah. See ya, boys! Thanks for driving!
再见 加布 别忘了保持联系 Bye, Gaby! Don't forget to friend us!
我不会忘的 费尔南多 Oh, I won't, Fernando.
祝你和你的假咪咪好运 And good luck with your pec implants.
我没有恋爱 ♪ I'm not in love ♪
好 现在到夜猫时间了 All right, time for a nightcap.
夜猫时间 我都快忘了 Oh, nightcaps! I'd forgotten all about nightcaps.
我真怀念单身汉的同志时光 Oh, I miss the gay single life.
你知道吗 她应该体验全程 You know what? She deserves the full experience.
我们打算给你办个晚会 好极了 冰箱里还有些小乳蛋饼 We're gonna throw you a party. Brilliant! I have mini quiches in the freezer
马上打电话就能叫来10个同志 大功告成 哇 我好激动啊 and ten homos on speed dial. It's done. Oh! I'm so excited!
把那些家伙从今晚的晚会上请来 Invite those guys from tonight...
别叫费尔南多 他比我还漂亮 Except Fernando. He's prettier than me.
嗨 这是鲍勃 还有李 Hmm. - Hi. It's Bob. - ♪ and Lee ♪
留个口信吧 Leave a message.
嗨 我是卡洛斯 我找加布 Hey, guys. It's Carlos. I'm looking for Gaby.
医生说孩子们现在没有传染性了 The doctor says the girls aren't contagious anymore,
所以她可以回家了 谢谢 - so she can come home now. - Thanks.
好消息啊 Well, that's good news.
什么 天大的坏消息 What?! That is horrible news.
孩子们没事了 真糟糕 但你现在可以回家了 My children are healthy. Damn it! But you can go home now.
不 我不准备回去 我正打算好好回味一下 No, I'm not ready. I'm just starting to remember
活得像个人样的感觉 what it's like to be human again...
不用睡在玩具当中 Sleeping in, not stepping on toys,
不需要在有滑梯的餐馆吃饭 eating at restaurants that don't have a slide.
我尝到了自由的滋味 而且还没尝够呢 I have tasted freedom, and I am not ready to give it up!
那你打算怎么跟卡洛斯说呢 But what are you gonna tell Carlos?
不会吧 急性肠胃炎 Oh, no. A stomach virus?
是啊 你打电话之前那会儿我还吐了呢 Yeah, when you called earlier, I was throwing up.
别让孩子们传染上 Well, we don't want the girls to catch it.
那是什么声音 What's that noise?
我的牙齿在打颤呢 My teeth are chattering.
不管怎样 我会尽快回家 Anyhow, I'll be home as soon as I can.
医生说一天左右就能好 别忘了会喝醉醉 Doctor says it's a 24-hour thing. Don't forget the hangover.
或者一天半 就这样吧 Or 36-hour thing. Gotta go.
开始倒酒 Start pourin'.
我刚才说我吐了 可没想撒谎 I said I was throwing up. Don't want to be a liar.
这是我的公司 我想雇谁就雇谁 I can hire whomever I want. It's my company.
我给你管理公司 你应该先问过我的意见 And I run it for you. I should have been consulted.
你干吗这么不高兴 Why are you being so unpleasant about this?
山姆是我雇来给你帮忙的 我不需要他帮忙 我管得挺好的 I hired Sam to help you. I don't need his help. I've got it under control.
安德鲁 我所看到的却恰恰相反 Andrew, all I've seen lately is evidence to the contrary,
你可别以为我会坐视不管 and if you think I'm gonna stand by
看着我辛苦经营的事业毁于一旦 while everything I've built falls apart...
山姆 我以为你已经回家了 Sam. I thought you'd gone home.
我留下来加个班 把存货清点完 Oh, I stayed late to finish the inventory.
你真勤奋 Well, aren't you industrious?
我还想说说泰德的事 I also wanted to talk about tad.
他怎么了 Uh, what about him?
我交给他办的事儿 Every task I've given him
他要么办砸了 要么办不成 he's either botched or failed to finish.
我觉得现在是时候 来减少损失了 I think it's time to cut our losses.
我们不会解雇泰德的 We're... we're not firing tad.
为什么 他是个蠢货 他是个好人 而且我不想让你 Why not? He's a moron. He's a good guy, and... and I don't want you
用那种口气说我的员工 talking that way about my employees.
安德鲁 你得承认 Andrew, you have to admit,
他太没有竞争力了 he's more than a little incompetent.
给他个机会吧 他还是个孩子 Give him a chance. He's just a kid.
你是不是跟他有一腿 You're having an affair with him, aren't you?
山姆 你怎么能那么说 Sam! How could you say such a thing?
我想您更应该问的是 I think the more pertinent question is
为什么安德鲁不否认呢 why isn't Andrew denying it? T...
安德鲁 你是不是跟泰德上过床 Uh... Andrew, have you had sex with tad?
就一次 Just once. Uh...
天哪 Oh, my god.
是他找我的 那天晚了 我喝醉了 Well, he came on to me. It was late, and I'd been drinking.
那就是你的理由吗 That's your excuse?
说实话 安德鲁 我对你真的很失望 Honestly, Andrew, I am so disappointed in you.
真的吗 你又要摆出一副说教的嘴脸了 Oh, really? Y-You want to play that card?
你还和亚里克斯住在一起呢 你还和奥森结婚了呢 You're living with Alex. And you're married to Orson.
是的 我知道卡尔·梅尔 Yeah, I know about Karl Mayer.
咱们俩半斤八两 谁也别瞧不起谁 Hello, pot. I'm kettle. It's nice to meet you.
我真不敢相信你竟然 在陌生人面前说这样的事 I cannot believe you would bring this up in front of a stranger.
是啊 你了解我 Yeah, you know me.
虚伪使我忘记了礼节 Hypocrisy just makes me forget my manners.
也许我该走了 Perhaps I should go.
好 不过我要你明天一大早过来 Yes. But I want you back here bright and early
帮我把泰德给炒了 tomorrow morning to help me fire tad.
不 不 你不能炒他 Y... no. No. You... you... You can't fire him.
我能 Yes, I can.
事实上 我想炒谁就能炒谁 In fact, I can fire anyone I want.
正把她的胸罩脱掉 And then right as I was taking off her bra,
我就醒了 I woke up.
你觉得这意味着什么 Hmm. What do you think that means?
看起来很明显 Seems pretty straightforward.
但我不是女同性恋 But I'm not a lesbian.
你比你想的要超前一些 You're getting ahead of yourself.
也许这甚至与罗宾无关 Maybe this dream isn't even about Robin.
也许是因为我被男人伤透了心 Maybe it's about how I've been so hurt by men
以至于觉得女人是唯一可靠的选择 that women are the only safe option left.
是什么使你开始思考和男人的感情问题呢 Why are you even thinking about relationships at all,
或者和女人的 with men or women?
你还是有点脆弱 You're still fragile.
等你更坚强一些 Now when you're stronger,
我们再来谈你可能被谁吸引的问题吧 then we can talk about who you might be attracted to.
我不是被她吸引 这才是我要说的 But I'm not attracted to her. That's what I'm saying.
在我这个年龄的女人不可能 Women my age don't just wake up one day
突然改变性取向 with a whole new sexual identity.
这个梦一定有什么别的含义 This dream has got to mean something else.
对我来说 你这个梦很明显意味着 Well, what it tells me, clearly,
你的康复受到了干扰 is that you are being distracted from your recovery.
那我该怎么办呢 停止做梦吗 So what am I supposed to do, stop dreaming?
不 No.
但你得考虑一下 But you might want to consider
叫罗宾另外找个地方住 asking Robin to find another place to stay.
前台有收银员 Available cashier to the front.
这标签上的字刻得可真小 我根本看不清 This lettering is so small. I can hardly read the label.
好 你继续在这确定 All right, while you're deciding
哪一种是海豚安全的 我去拿点啤酒 which one is dolphin-safe, I'm gonna get some beer.
嗨 伯伦太太 Hey! Mrs. Bolen!
我...你在这买东西啊 I... do you shop here?
丹尼在哪里 他说你们几个去露营了 Where's Danny? He said you guys were going camping.
哦 是的 Oh, yeah.
不 但是 其实是我去不了了 No, but h... i... It turned out I couldn't go,
所以他就自己去了 so he just went... By himself.
你要排队吗 You wanna get in line?
你要叫我排队吗 You wanna make me?
说出来 Spill it.
很抱歉 他说等他到了会给你打电话 I'm sorry. He said he'd call you when he got there.
艾迪 你们已经回来了啊 Eddie. Hey, you guys back already?
他到底在哪里 So where is he really?
纽约 New York.
丹尼去找安娜了 Danny went to find Ana.
嘿 嘿 别紧张 这里是大城市Hey. Hey. Don't freak out. It's a big city.
要是他去了以前住的地方怎么办 What if he goes to the old neighborhood?
派崔克找不到他的 Patrick is not going to find him.
他上次就找到我们了 He found us the last time.
快走 我要回去收拾行李 Come on. I gotta go pack.
你早来了 You're in early.
我睡不着 Oh, I couldn't sleep,
想检查一下责任保险单 so I thought I'd review our liability insurance,
但集中不了注意力 but I'm having a little trouble focusing.
或许咖啡可以让你振奋起来 Maybe some coffee will perk you up. Mm.
昨天发生的事情 Um, about what happened yesterday, Sam,
和安德鲁的争吵 that, um, ugliness with Andrew...
你这样奋发的成功人士都有复杂的生活 Driven, successful people like you have complicated lives,
但我不关心个中细节 but the specifics are none of my business.
我 My, um...
和安德鲁的关系 不夸张地说 Relationship with Andrew is, uh, to say the least,
很复杂 complicated.
我肯定安德鲁很爱你 很尊重你 I'm sure Andrew respects and loves you very much.
我只是担心 I just worry that...
担心什么 What?
在家族企业里 孩子觉得有特权 Well, it's not unusual for children in a family business
是常事 to have a sense of entitlement.
希望你不介意我发表意见 I hope you don't mind me saying that.
不介意 继续 No. Go ahead.
以你的角度做决定很困难 This must be so hard. What do you do in this situation?
继续娇惯他 希望他自己改变 Keep coddling him, hoping he'll change,
还是斩断这种裙带关系 or do you cut the apron strings and trust
相信磨难能让他茁壮成长 that all the hard work you've done will allow him to thrive?
好问题 It's a good question.
我来照顾这里 You know what? I've got everything under control here.
你为什么不回家 Why don't you go back to the house
好好睡一觉 但是这里有很多工作要做 and catch up on your sleep? But there's so much work to be done.
但你雇我就是来帮你对吧 谢谢你 山姆 Sure, but that's why you hired me, isn't it... To help you out? Thank you, Sam.
你真好 You're very kind.
山姆 And, Sam?
我很高兴有你在 I'm very glad you're here.
耶！ Yay!
到我家来！可以 Come to my house! Okay!
-来吧！我们走快点 - Come on! Let's go! - Hurry up!
我们来玩吧！我们去踢球吧！可以 Wait! Let's play! Let's go play kickball! Okay.
天哪！干得好！我知道！ Oh, my gosh! Such a good job! I know!
哼哼 Unh-unh!
你好 伯特 佩妮呢 Hey, Bert. I'm looking for penny.
她刚才没下车 因为她没上车 She didn't get off the bus. That's 'cause she didn't get on.
我还以为她生病回家了 什么 没有 I figured she went home sick or something. What? No.
她没有因为生病回家了 她人呢 佩妮 She didn't come home sick. Where is she? Penny?
斯加沃太太 Mrs. Scavo?
佩妮让我把这个给你 Penny said to give you this.
她离家出走了 She's running away.
知道她为什么出走吗 家庭问题 Any idea why she would run away? Problems at home?
没 没有 一切都很好 No. No, everything's fine.
只是好像忘了她的生日 Well, we did kind of forget her birthday.
她还把她生日蛋糕的名字写错了 And... she put the wrong name on her birthday cake.
亲爱的 我们能不能只讲一些 Honey, could we please stick
跟这件事情有关的例子 to the facts that pertain to the case?
你怎么能把女儿的名字搞错 How could you get your daughter's name wrong?
你们是在吸毒吗 Are you people involved in narcotics?
不 不 我怀孕了 No! No, I'm pregnant,
这让我很健忘 and it makes me very forgetful.
相信你可以理解 Surely you can understand that.
我可没怀孕 I'm not pregnant.
你不准备帮我们找女儿了是吧 You're not gonna look for our daughter, are you?
安圭拉 Aguilar.
是 他们还在这里 Yeah, they're still here.
好的 Oh, okay.
你们女儿没事 她用你的信用卡住酒店 Your daughter's fine. She tried to use your credit card to check into a hotel.
我可以进来吗 Hey. You mind if I come in?
哇 大理石浴缸 Wow. Marble bath,
纯平彩电 flat screen,
八美元一桶的花生 $8 can of peanuts.
好极了 Nice.
亲爱的 对不起 那个蛋糕 Sweetie, I am so sorry about the cake
还有忘记你的生日 and about forgetting your birthday.
我知道你现在很恨我 但我不怪你 I know you hate me right now, and I don't blame you.
我不恨你 我恨那个 I don't hate you. I hate that.
因为你再也不是最小的宝贝了 Oh. Because you're not gonna be the baby anymore.
噢 佩妮 亲爱的 Oh. Penny. Sweetie.
你往长远想想 You're missing the big picture here.
普雷斯顿走了 波特也快走了 Preston's gone. Porter's next.
当这个女孩出生 女性就3比2取得家里的控制权 When this girl comes along, we are poised to take control of the house with a 3-2 majority.
你知道这意味着什么吗 Do you know what that means?
女性有否决权 决定看什么电视 Women get veto power over what TV shows to watch,
叫什么外卖 what takeout to get.
想象一下 Just think.
想象马桶盖再不掀起的世界 Think of a world where the toilet seat is never up.
到了我们征服他们的时间了 This is our time to take them down.
我们俩打败他们 We're both gonna take them down! Hey.
对不起我离家出走 Oh. I'm sorry I ran away.
我们现在可以回家 We can go home now.
我有个更好的主意 I have a better idea.
反正你交了房间钱 Since you already paid for the room,
我们要不就叫个火山冰淇凌 how about we order hot fudge sundaes...
睡在这里吧 And spend the night?
就我们两个 Just... Just us girls.
好吧Yeah. Okay.
-妈妈 -什么 You know, mom... Hmm?
再生两个女生 我们就能组乐队了 If you have two more girls, we'll take the lead.
我们还是叫冰淇凌吧 Let's just... Order our sundaes.
我在那个盛大的派对上 So there I was at this huge party,
跟中东首长调情 flirting with this middle eastern sheikh,
然后不知怎的 and out of nowhere...
他给我10万元跟他上床 那你怎么做的 He offers me a million dollars to sleep with him. So what did you do?
我打了他一掌 I slapped him.
打的正是地方 Apparently in the right place,
之后我带着两万美元离开 'cause I walked out of there with 20 grand.
加布 是胡安妮塔 Shh. Gaby, it's Juanita.
同志们 对不起 Oh, excuse me, guys.
妈咪时间到 Gotta do the "mommie dearest" thing.
宝贝 学校怎么样 Hi, sweetie. How was school?
什么 What?
你在足球比赛里进球了 Oh, you scored a goal in soccer?
等一下讲 宝贝 What? Wh... hang on, sweetie,
让我找个安静的地方 可以听到你 while I find a quiet place so mommy can hear you.
等一下 Hang on, sweetie.
好了 妈妈可以 Okay, honey, mommy can...
等一下 H-Hold on, sweetie.
你没看到油漆未干吗 Do the words "wet paint" mean nothing to you?
胡安妮塔 亲爱的 等一下打给你 爱你 Uh, Juanita? Honey, I have to call you back. I love you.
抱歉 Sorry.
我不是故意... I didn't mean to. I...
这是间... Is this a...
婴儿房吗 是的 A nursery? Yes.
我们没告诉太多人 We haven't told very many people yet,
李和我一直想领养一个孩子 but... Lee and I are trying to adopt a baby.
我没听说过 Oh. I had no idea.
是啊 Yeah.
我们想要孩子已很多年了 It's something we've wanted for years.
好吧 Oh, okay.
为什么 Why?
我是说 你们过得这么好 I mean, you guys have this amazing life.
每晚都有聚会 开到凌晨5点 Parties every night, cosmos at 5:00.
一旦有了孩子 这些都不复存在了 You know all that goes away when the baby comes.
我们巴不得呢 And we can't wait.
上个月 有个俄亥俄州的婴儿 Last month there was this baby in Ohio.
我们半夜接到的电话 We got the call in the middle of the night.
一大早就上了飞机 We were on a plane in the morning.
我们到了医院 她就在那 We got to the hospital, and there she was...
一个小女孩 A little girl.
我们用双臂搂着她 We held that baby in our arms...
整整两天 For two days.
后来 我们出去买汽车座椅 要带她回家 And then we went out to buy a car seat to bring her home,
当我们回到医院的时候 and when we got back to the hospital,
社工正在育婴房外面等我们 the... social worker was waiting for us outside the nursery.
那位母亲改变了主意 The mother had changed her mind.
我知道那种感受 I know how that feels.
对不起 鲍勃 I am so sorry, Bob.
你可能羡慕我们的生活 加比 You may envy our life, Gaby,
但... 这绝对 but... it's nothing
比不上 我们羡慕你的 compared to how we envy yours.
嗨 你在做什么呢 Hey, what are you doing?
晚会才刚开始 The party's just getting started.
我知道 只是胡安妮塔 在足球赛中打进了她第一个进球 I know. It's just... Juanita scored her first goal in soccer,
她想告诉我事情的经过所以... and she wants to tell me all about it, so...
去吧 Go.
替我给她们一个吻 Give them a kiss for me.
我会的 I will.
我敲门了 凯伦 你在家吗 Knock, knock. Karen, are you home?
我在这儿 I'm in here.
听着 Uh, listen.
我一直在想你婚事 I've been thinking about your wedding,
我想对你说... and, well, I just want to talk to you about...
怎么了 What's wrong?
没什么 Nothing.
医生发现我的肺里有阴影 The doctor found a spot on my lung.
阴影 A spot?
他认为可能是癌症 He thinks it might be cancer.
她告诉你了 She told you, huh?
是啊 Yeah.
会没事的 It's gonna be okay.
她下周去做切除 She's getting a biopsy next week.
她会战胜病魔的 She's gonna lick this thing.
癌症找错对象了 Cancer picked a fight with the wrong broad.
因为她患了癌症 Uh, so given the diagnosis,
也许结婚不是个好时候 maybe it's not a good time to get married.
哦 Oh!
我们要结婚了 尽快 We're getting married, soon as we can.
-但是你说过 -我知道我说过什么 But you said... I know what I said.
我过去想的都是 失去独立 All I could think about was losing my independence,
失去自由 losing my freedom,
但这件事之后 but after this happened,
我意识到最不能失去的就是她 now I realize the worst thing I could lose is her.
所以... So...
你愿意 You're willing...
戒盐了 To give up salt?
我愿意戒掉一切 I'm willing to give up anything.
罗伊 Oh, Roy.
小心 孩子 我告诉过你 我戒了 Ah-ah! Watch it, doll. I told you I'm giving it up.
你只能得到一个吻 One kiss is all you get.
嗨 你还没睡 Oh, hey! You're still up.
我想 跟你说点事 Yeah, I... sort of needed to talk to you about something.
如果是要我分担账单的话 Well, if it's me helping with the bills...
我这儿有好消息 I've got great news.
你找到工作了 You got the job?
现在你看到的 You're looking
是市中心格丽尔餐厅的新女招待 at the downtown grill's new hostess.
我明天上班 I start tomorrow.
谢谢你借给我 你的上衣 Oh! Thank you for loaning me your top.
经理说我看上去非常有品位 The manager said I looked very classy.
说不出这让我有多开心 Oh. I can't tell you how happy this makes me.
你想跟我说什么 So... you wanna tell me your thing?
没有 以后再说吧 No, it's... it can wait.
你确定吗 Are you sure?
是的 当然 Yeah. Absolutely.
我给你拿杯子 I'll get you a glass.
啊 Aah!
我的天啊 Oh, my god! Oh.
我的天啊 Oh, my god. Oh.
-你的外套 我真抱歉 -没关系 Oh, your blouse. I am so sorry. It's okay.
等等 你要干嘛 把它洗一下 Wait. What are you doing? I'm just gonna rinse it out.
不 不 不 别这样 没关系的 但这样会染色的 No, no, no. Stop. It's... it's... it's okay. No, but it's gonna stain.
我会拿去干洗的 -但是这衣服这么贵 -我直说吧 I'll send it to the dry cleaners. Oh, but that is so expensive. Here we go...
你必须离开 You have to leave.
什么 What?
你要你离开我家 I need you to move out of my house.
为什么 Why?
这 这 说不清 It's... it's... it's complicated.
这 Is this...
是你刚才想跟我说的吗 This what you wanted to talk to me about?
是啊 Yeah.
如果我做错了什么 对不起 Sorry if I did something wrong.
我有个朋友可以一起住 I have a friend I can go stay with,
我去收拾行李 so I'm just gonna go pack.
罗宾 Robin.
你什么也没做错 You haven't done anything wrong.
我非常喜欢你 I like you very much.
老实说 In fact...
喜欢过头了 Too much.
最近我开始对你产生了 Lately I've started to have feelings for you...
无法理解的好感 That I don't understand,
这让我困惑不已 and it's confusing me.
你知道我想说什么吗 You know what I'm saying?
我理解 I do...
因为我对你也有同样的感觉 'Cause I'm having those feelings for you, too.
你是对的 You're right.
我该离开 I should go.
诱惑是一门艺术 Seduction is an art.
潜移默化的方式 Subtle methods of coercion are used
影响意志脆弱的人 to sway the susceptible.
那些别有用心的人 And those who are determined
会不吝时间 达到目的 will take their time to get what they want.
当诱惑成功 And when the seduction is successful,
屈从诱惑的人 会问自己 those who succumbed ask themselves...
我被诱惑了吗 Was I seduced...
或者 这才是我一直想要的 Or was this what I wanted all along?