《绝望主妇》前情提要 Previously on Desperate Housewives
有人吗 Is anybody here?
这可能会严重影响到我们的声誉 There may have been a breakdown in our care.
你想跟我们私了 You trying to buy us off?
有时 如果你不够小心 Sometimes if you're not careful...
有个叫赫尼西的训练营 There's this place called Camp Hennessey.
我不去这种少年犯才去的愚蠢训练营 I'm not going to any stupid camp for juvenile delinquents.
你没得选 You don't have a choice.
陈年的错误 Past mistakes...
我们从洛克华德湖里捞上来 We pulled it out of Rockwater Lake.
我卖掉了好几百只这样的箱子 I must have sold several hundred of these just like it.
我有一份顾客名单 I have a list of customers' names on file.
就会阴魂不散 will come back to haunt you.
我不会告诉任何人 I won't tell anyone.
我会为你保守秘密 爸爸 I'll keep your secret, dad.
加布丽尔·索利斯 There were many things
对许多事都确信无疑 Gabrielle Solis knew for certain.
她确信红色最衬她 She knew red was her color.
她确信钻石是百搭 She knew diamonds went with everything.
她确信男人们骨子里都一样 And she knew men were all the same.
不过加布丽尔最确信的一件事 But the one thing Gabrielle knew above all else...
就是她永远都不要孩子 she would never want children.
加布丽尔的不幸在于 Unfortunately for Gabrielle,
她的丈夫卡洛斯可不这么想 her husband Carlos felt differently.
我如此幸运能拥有你 I'm so lucky to have you.
好 我洗耳恭听 Ok, I'll bite.
为什么你如此幸运 Why are you so lucky?
因为 Because...
我不想要孩子 但你想 I don't want to have kids, and you do.
那个啊 Oh, that.
绝大部分男人都会因此离开 Most men would leave over something like that.
而你依然在这 And you're still here.
我很感激 也明白你作出的牺牲 I'm grateful. I know the sacrifice you're making.
其实我始终抱有一丝希望 There's still a part of me
你会改变主意 that's hoping to change your mind.
一旦你有了宝宝 Once you had a baby,
我想你会很爱他的 I think you would love it so much that...
亲爱的 那是不会发生的 Honey, it's not gonna happen.
-世事难料 -不 这毋庸置疑 - You never know. - No, sometimes you do.
这确实是一种牺牲 Well, it is a sacrifice.
不过为了你值得 But you're worth it.
是的 加布丽尔·索利斯确信无疑 Yes, Gabrielle Solis knew without a doubt
她不想成为一个母亲 she didn't want to be a mother.
但她并不知道 But what she couldn't know was
她丈夫有多想成为一个父亲 just how much her husband wanted to be a father,
也不知道他破坏她的避孕计划 or that he'd been tampering with
已经数月了 her birth control for months...
更不知道的是 or that within one week's time...
一周之内她就会怀孕 she'd be pregnant.
《绝望的主妇》第一季 第十八集 Desperate Housewives S01E18
周末的紫藤郡是孩子们的天下 Saturdays on Wisteria Lane belonged to the children,
当大多数孩子在做体育运动 and while most would spend the day practicing their sports...
骑自行车 and riding their bikes...
玩跳绳的时候 and jumping their ropes,
个别孩子不再沉溺于这些游戏 others were no longer engaged in child's play.
事实上 这些孩子不得不 Indeed, some children were being forced
快快长大 成熟起来 to grow up very quickly.
抱歉周末还来打扰你 Sorry to bother you on the weekend.
我们有点问题想问你 We just have a few questions for you.
关于什么 About what?
12年前 12 years ago,
你已故的妻子买过一个玩具箱 your late wife purchased a toy chest.
玩具箱 Toy chest?
是 大约这么大 上面绘有跳舞的小熊 Yeah, it was about this big, had little dancing bears on it.
上帝 我不知道有这回事 Gosh, I'm sorry.
制作这种箱子的工匠 The craftsman who makes these chests
备了一份客户名单 keeps a list of customers.
名单显示 你在1992年8月买过一个 Apparently, you purchased one in august 1992.
我们想知道这只箱子现在在哪 We'd like to know where that chest is now.
我希望能帮上忙 Wow, I, uh... I wish I could help you.
我不记得什么玩具箱 I don't recall any toy chest.
我记得 I remember.
上面有小熊和气球 对吧 It had little bears and balloons on it, right?
是的 孩子 没错 Yes, son, that's right.
我们早把它扔了 那时我还很小 We threw it away when I was little.
我站在上面把它踩坏了 I was standing on it and it busted.
-有印象吗 爸爸 -很模糊 - Remember, dad? - Vaguely.
那就行 我们知道了 I guess that's all, then.
耽误二位时间了 谢谢 Thank you both for your time.
不过这箱子有什么问题吗 Hey. What's the deal with this chest, anyway?
有一只被冲上了火炬湖的岸边 One just like you had washed up on Torch Lake.
-里面有个女人 -女人 - Had a woman in it. - A woman?
她被碎尸了 She was all chopped up.
显然 我们得谈谈 Obviously, we need to talk.
你骗了我 你说里面是个男人 You lied to me. You said it was a man in the box.
不 我没骗你 No, I didn't lie.
警察说是个女人的尸体 The policeman said it was a woman's body.
当然是你在撒谎 Of course you were lying.
我说过 I told you
一个私家侦探想把你从我们身边带走 a private detective had come to take you away from us.
我从没说过那是个男人 I never said it was a man.
-你没说过吗 -没有 - You didn't? - No.
-我以为 -别乱想了 - I-I thought that... - No.
等等 请你别说了 Stop. Please stop.
我知道你在骗我 我知道你在撒谎 I know you're lying to me, ok? I know that you're lying.
我发誓 For the last time,
是有人想从我们身边带走你 someone came and tried to take you away from us.
没错 一个女人 一个女人来过 Yes, a woman. A woman came.
没错 她企图偷走你 Yes, she tried to steal you
从你唯一熟悉的这个家 from the only family that you'd ever really known.
我们不能让它发生 我们也做到了 And we couldn't let that happen, and we didn't.
所以这 And that...
就是事实 ...is the truth.
我们不能反悔 只剩两天了 We can't cancel now. It's two days away.
雷克斯 我不会去 就这样 Rex, I'm not going. That's all there is to it.
咨询辅导是赫尼西营治疗课程的一部分 Counseling is part of the treatment at Camp Hennessey.
你知道的 You knew that.
手册里没有说 Nowhere in that brochure did it say
我们也得出席 that we were expected to attend.
要是你不去 安德鲁会怎么想 What's Andrew going to think if you don't show up?
我准备了这个爱心包裹 Well, I am making him this care package.
他会明白我在想着他 I mean, he'll know that I'm thinking about him.
你为什么把柠檬小方放进去 Why are you putting in lemon squares?
他们说了不能给他带甜点 They told us not to send him sweets.
我不明白为什么 I don't understand why.
我猜是他们觉得妈妈做烤的糕点 I guess they feel baked goods from mom
会削弱训练营地的体验 undercut the boot camp experience.
好吧 我把它们拿出来 Fine, I won't send them,
但我认为这是条愚蠢的规定 but I think it's a stupid rule.
那你去还是不去 So are you going to this thing or not?
-不去 -为什么 - No. - Why?
因为我一到那 安德鲁就会开始 Because the minute I get there, Andrew will start...
责怪我抛弃他 ...attacking me for abandoning him.
我不想听 And I don't want to hear it.
你没有理由觉得内疚 There's no reason to feel guilty, you know.
你为他做了所能做的一切 You did everything you could for him.
我没觉得内疚 I don't feel guilty.
好吧 Ok.
拜托 克里斯蒂 Please, Christy.
这么晚我找不到别人来做保姆了 There's no way I can get another babysitter this late in the day.
-帕克 别弄了 -不 - Parker, knock it off. - No.
因为我要跟以前的同事出去喝两杯 Because I'm having drinks with friends I used to work with,
我们很久没联络了 如果我放他们鸽子 and they never called, and if I blow them off,
那么 我跟他们就玩完了 that's it... I'm dead to them.
不 我不能找帕蒂·宾克斯 No, I can't call Patty Binks.
因为她是个惯偷 Because she steals things.
该死 克里斯蒂 你才13岁 Damn it, Christy, you're 13 years old.
你将来还有大把时间可以逛街 You got a lot of trips to the mall ahead of you.
好好 我错了 Ok, ok, I'm sorry.
抱歉朝你大声嚷嚷 I'm sorry I raised my voice.
我会冷静 I'm calm.
是不是钱的问题 So I'm starting to think that this is about money.
多少钱才能请你来呢 So what is it that would make it worth your while?
100块 那简直是敲诈 A hundred! That's extortion.
没门 我不会 There's no way in hell that I'm gonna...
喂 Hello?
帕克 再不停手我要打你屁股了 Parker, I swear, I will spank you. Knock it off.
宾克斯夫人 帕蒂在吗 谢谢 Hi, Mrs. Binks. Is Patty there? Thank you.
亲爱的 我回来了 Hi, honey. I'm back.
宝贝儿 Hey, sweetie.
这位是斯坦伯格先生 医院的律师 This is Mr. Steinberg, the attorney from the hospital.
我们见过吗 Oh, have we met?
是的 索利斯夫人 我们见过 Yes, Mrs. Solis. We've met.
难道你不记得了 Don't you remember?
妈妈死后 It was after mama died.
很明显是医院的失职 Apparently the hospital was negligent
他们愿意偿付一笔7位数的和解金 and agreed to a 7-figure settlement check,
一笔我根本不知道的钱 a check I was never told about.
那个啊 Oh, that.
我... I...
-斯坦伯格先生 -我正要走 - Mr. Steinberg... - I was just leaving.
-你在想什么 -等等 听我解释 - What were you thinking?! - Wait, just let me explain...
不 你居然不告诉我 No, why the hell didn't you tell me?!
因为我不相信你能做出正确的决定 Because I couldn't trust you to make the right decision.
正确的决定就是用这笔钱去付我的律师费 The right decision was to use that money for my lawyers!
这样就能打赢官司 We could have fought the indictment,
那我就不用接受认罪协议书 and then I wouldn't have had to take the plea bargain!
如果你不接受认罪协议 If you didn't take the plea deal,
政府会纠缠不休的 the government would have seized the settlement.
那我们就继续打官司 We could have fought that in court.
是 然后你就会把所有的钱都付给律师 Exactly,and then you would have blown all the money on the lawyers.
管他呢 Who cares?!
只要有机会不用去坐牢 If there was a chance didn't have to go to jail.
你让老挝的囚犯以每小时 You had Laotian convicts
两分钱的工钱为你缝制休闲服 sewing casual wear for two cents an hour.
你不觉得你罪有应得吗 Don't you think you deserve a time-out?
8个月 我谢谢你 Eight months. Thanks to you,
我要坐8个月的牢 I'm going away for eight months.
等你出来时再谢我 And when you get out,
多亏了我才有资金东山再起 we're going to have money to start over with thanks to me.
你冷静下来之后 You know, once you calm down,
就会认识到我做了正确的决定 you're gonna realize I did the right thing,
到那时 我会欣然接受你的道歉 and when that happens, I'd appreciate an apology.
外婆来了 Grandma's here.
这下可好 Now, that is just perfect.
待屋里 Stay put.
-真对不起 -妈妈 - I am so sorry! - Hey, mom.
苏珊 Oh, hey, Susie.
-我搞砸了 -发生什么了 - I goofed. - What happened?
你了解我 没有任何距离感 Oh, you know me. No depth perception whatsoever.
真奇怪他们居然肯给我发驾驶执照 I'm stunned they even issued me a license.
你是苏珊的妈妈 So, you're Susan's mom.
是的 Yeah.
我是苏菲·布雷默 你叫什么名字 I'm Sophie Bremmer. And you are?
麦克·德尔非诺 Mike Delfino.
你就是麦克 天哪 You're Mike?! Oh, my god!
苏珊经常说起你 Susan's told me so much about you!
别这么站着 来抱一个 Well, don't just stand there. Give me a hug!
妈妈 麦克和我 已经分手了 Mom. Uh... Mike and I aren't... together anymore.
对不起 Oh! Sorry.
看来我把情况搞得很尴尬 I guess I just made this pretty awkward, huh?
是的 确实如此 Yeah, you... You really did.
那我们给保险公司打电话吧 So let's just call the insurance company.
好 Ok.
不管怎样 很高兴见到你 麦克 Well... It's nice meeting you anyway, Mike.
我也是 真想不到你居然是苏珊的妈妈 You too. I never would've guessed you were Susan's mom.
我明白 我看起来太年轻了 I know. I look too young.
我怀孕时才十几岁 I got pregnant when I was a tiny teenager.
行了 Ok...
那是我第一次喝醉 It was the first time I got drunk, ever.
-难以置信吧 -咱们走吧 - Can you believe it? - Let's go.
她爸爸是个水兵 Her father was a marine.
事后 他把他的3枚奖章给了我 Afterwards, he gave me three of his medals.
-妈妈 -怎么啦 - Mom! - What?
我们进去给保险公司打电话吧 Let's just go inside and call the insurance company.
对 Oh, right.
你在笑什么 What are you smiling about?
我以前一直很纳闷 I used to have all these questions about
你为什么会是这样一个人 how you got to be the way you are.
现在我完全明白了 They were all just answered.
有什么事吗 What's going on?
保姆放我鸽子 My babysitter cancelled.
勒奈特 我今天真是乱成一团 Lynette, I'm so swamped today.
家里乱七八糟 还有好多事得做 My house is a mess and I've got millions of errands to run.
先听我说完 这事很重要 Please hear me out. This is important.
今天我有个回归社会的机会 Today, I have a chance to rejoin the human race
就几个小时 for a few hours.
已经有人端着鸡尾酒在等我了 There are actual adults waiting for me with Margaritas.
瞧 我穿了裙子 还化了妆 Look, I'm in a dress. I have make-up on.
可今天真的不行 If it were any other day.
看在上帝面上 布里 我还穿了连裤袜 Oh, for god's sakes, Bree, I'm wearing pantyhose.
-让他们进来吧 -非常感谢 - Bring them in. - Thank you, thank you.
你们进去吧 Ok, in you go.
然后警察就给我看了他的入案照片 Then the police showed me his mug shot.
-不会吧 -是的 - No! - Yes.
麦克因为贩毒和过失杀人蹲过监狱 Mike served time for selling drugs and manslaughter.
-我简直不敢相信 -那是真的 - I can't believe it. - Well, it's true.
-他那么有风度 你明白吗 -我明白 - He has such nice manners. You know? - I know.
苏珊 我不希望你为麦克的事过于烦恼 Susie, I don't want you worrying too much about this Mike thing.
耐心一些 真命天子总会来的 The right man will come along. Just give it time.
要不是因为想到你和莫蒂 I think I would have given up entirely
我早就彻底死心了 if it weren't for you and Morty.
-莫蒂吗 -是啊 - Morty? - Yeah, you know.
这已经是你们双方的第三次婚姻 It's the third time around for both of you
你们非常情投意合 and you're really clicking.
那给了我希望 Oh. It gives me hope.
-怎么啦 -没什么 - What's wrong? - Nothing, nothing. Um...
我只是 有点累 I'm just... I'm tired.
你不累 你睡过午觉了 怎么啦 You're not tired. You took a nap. What is it?
-我离开莫蒂了 -什么 为什么 - I left Morty. - What?! Why?
因为他推了我 Because he shoved me.
莫蒂 不可能 Morty? No!
你以为我在撒谎吗 拜托 You think I'm lying? Fine!
-他为什么要推你 -因为我对他直说了 - Why would he shove you? - Because I confronted him.
他在那该死的煎饼店 About how much time he's spending
花了太多时间 at that damned pancake restaurant.
假设他真在那的话 If that's where he's really been.
你一定是在开玩笑 莫蒂 Oh, you can't be serious. Morty?
你以为他这个年龄的男人就没需求吗 You think men his age don't have needs?
你真该看看他雇的女招待 You should see the waitresses he hires.
一年比一年年轻 Every year, they get younger and younger.
你那么想也许只是因为 Maybe you just feel that way because
你一年比一年老 every year you get older and older.
-你怎么能这么说 -对不起 - That's a horrible thing to say. - I'm sorry.
-我没那么老 -我说了对不起 - I'm not that old. - I said I was sorry.
人家还以为咱俩是姐妹 People think we're sisters.
那是因为你对他们这么说 That's 'cause you tell them that.
就一次 你得忽略那次 One time. You've gotta let go of that.
瞧 我想说的是 Ok, look. I am just saying
我认为莫蒂不会背叛你 that I don't think morty cheated on you.
他的确推了我 Well, he did shove me.
你至少该表现得支持我一些 And the least you can do is be supportive.
说得对 没错 You're right. You're right.
-他还朝我扔了本书 -拜托 - He also threw a book at me. - Oh, come on!
我是说 他不该这样 I mean... he shouldn't have done that.
谢谢 Huh. Thank you.
波特 宝贝 饼干还是烫的 Porter, honey, those cookies are hot.
等几分钟我就给你吃 好吗 Wait a few minutes and I'll give you one, ok?
你们知道吗 如果把颜色涂在边线里 You know, pictures are prettier
图画会更美 if you color inside the lines.
好吧 艺术是主观的 Well, art is subjective.
-波特 我说什么来着 -可我饿了 - Porter! What did I tell you? - But I'm hungry.
那我先给你 Then I will fix you
一碗好吃的桃子和脱脂芝士吧 a very nice bowl of peaches and cottage cheese.
-不好吃 -别耍滑头 小家伙 - Ew! Barf! - Don't be common, young man.
来 你要是再拿饼干当玩具 Come on. If you play with those cookies one more time,
我就要打你的屁股 I'm gonna have to spank you.
-我们不会被打屁股 -真的吗 - We don't get spanked. - Really?
妈妈总是那么说 但从来没打过 Mommy always says she's gonna but she never does.
我可不是你们的妈妈 Well, I am not your mommy.
如果你们在我家里不乖 And if you misbehave in my house,
就要被打屁股 you will get spanked.
所以乖乖的 So be good.
-我不是故意的 -波特 我警告过你 - It was an accident. - Porter, I warned you.
对不起 我会乖乖的 I'm sorry. I'll be good.
这些饼干是辛辛苦苦做的 Those cookies were made from scratch.
你该挨打了 Your fate is sealed.
过来 Come here.
不 不 No, no!
那是什么 What's that?
这叫婚后协议 It's called a post-nuptial agreement.
是一种法律协议 It's a legal document...
我知道什么是婚后协议 I know what a post-nup is.
为什么它会出现在我的茶几上 What is it doing on my coffee table?
我可以原谅你 I can forgive that stunt
在和解金上耍的花招 you pulled with the settlement check,
只要确信我出狱时你还在我身边 If I'm sure you'll really be around when I get out of jail.
婚后协议改变了婚前协议的条款 所以 And the post-nup changes the terms of the pre-nup, so...
所以如果你想趁我不在时跟我离婚 So if you try and divorce me while I'm gone...
你就什么也得不到 ...you get nothing.
你不信任我 You don't trust me?
-恐怕是这样 -那可真糟 - I'm afraid not. - Well, that's too bad.
因为我不会签 Because I'm not signing that piece of paper.
你是个很美的女人 加布丽尔 You're a very beautiful woman, Gabrielle.
不过 你不够聪明 But... you're not very bright.
如果你不签 If you don't sign it,
我就会取消和解协议 跟你离婚 I'll pull the plug on the settlement agreement, divorce you,
然后你就会分到 and then you get what amounts to
我们目前存款的一半 about 50% of our current savings,
金额几乎为零 which is basically nothing.
那你现在想怎样 卡洛斯 So what do you expect to happen right now, Carlos?
我会签了协议然后跳进你怀里吗 I'll sign the paper and jump right back into your arms?
那不意味着我不爱你 It doesn't mean that I don't love you.
你知道在我心目中你有多么完美 You know I think you're the perfect woman.
但我并不完美 我有缺点 Oh, but I'm not. I have flaws.
缺点 Flaws?
给你举个例吧 I'll give you an example.
还记得上次你在监狱时 Remember the time when you were in jail
告诉我的秘密隔间 and you told me about your secret compartment
你还让我把里面的文件都烧了吗 and you told me to burn the papers that I found in there?
因为我胸大无脑 Well, me being pretty and therefore stupid,
我给忘了 I forgot.
你没烧那些文件 You didn't burn the papers.
更糟 我还看了那些文件 Worse. I read them.
-好 -你在开曼群岛开了个秘密账户 - Ok, ok... - You have some nerve talking to me about trust
还有脸跟我谈什么信任 when you have a secret bank account in the Cayman Islands!
-那是我为咱俩准备的安全网 -我敢打赌 - That was a safety net for both of us. - I'll bet.
-你没跟别人说起过吧 -没有 但我能 - Have you told anyone about this? - No, but I could.
那是不是控方 Isn't that why the prosecution
没法起诉你的原因 didn't have a case against you?
他们查不到你赚的钱在哪 They couldn't find the profits you made.
所以如果我是你 我会绝口不提 So if I were you, I wouldn't mention the words
离婚 信任 婚后协议什么的 divorce, trust, or post-nup ever again.
你别惹我 You don't wanna piss me off.
我明白 宝贝 失去是痛苦的 I know, baby. It hurts to lose.
预付 Ante up.
看看我 Well, look at me!
终于参加了传说中的扑克聚会 Finally in on one of your legendary poker parties.
苏珊老是跟我说你们玩得多么开心 Susan's always telling me how much fun you have.
规则很简单 我们赌现金 The rules are simple. We play for cash,
庄家选择游戏 the dealer picks the game,
然后就开始无边无际的闲聊 and unsubstantiated gossip is encouraged.
布里 再次感谢你帮忙照看我的孩子 Bree, thanks again for watching my boys.
他们是不是很难管 They weren't too much to handle?
我们过得很开心 We had a wonderful time.
不过 波特可能不太开心 Although I think Porter had a little less fun.
好了 我下注了 Ok, I'll bet.
苏菲 So, Sophie,
听苏珊说你俩明天要去做水疗 Susan says you're going to the Spa tomorrow.
是一整天的吗 Is it an all-day thing?
波特玩得不尽兴是什么意思 What do you mean, Porter had less fun?
我加注 I'll raise.
他不听话 所以我惩罚了他 He misbehaved, so I had to punish him.
没错 苏珊说要带我去享受一整天 Yes, Susan is treating me to an entire day of...
你所谓的惩罚 具体指什么 When you say punishment, what exactly are we talking about?
我打了他的屁股 Oh, I had to spank him.
好了 我也要加注 Ok, I will re-raise.
你居然打我儿子的屁股 You spanked my son?
微风水疗馆 Las Brisas Spa.
我们就是要去那里 Yup, that's where we're going.
这有什么问题吗 勒奈特 Lynette, is there a problem?
汤姆和我从不打小孩 Tom and I don't believe in hitting our kids.
抱歉 我真的不知道 Sorry, I didn't know.
不会再发生了 It won't happen again.
不过你居然都不打他们 让我很吃惊 Of course, I'm somewhat surprised you don't spank them.
大家都知道 小孩子有时会 Everybody knows they're a little bit...
过于顽皮 out of control.
我今天好累啊 Wow, I am dragging today.
我们再煮一壶咖啡吧 Shall we put on another pot of coffee?
我去就行了 Yeah, I'll do it.
我不跟 I'll... I'll fold.
没错 布里 Yeah, you're right, Bree.
在教育孩子的问题上我还有很多要学 I've got a lot to learn about parenting.
能从你这样贤惠的母亲身上 I feel so blessed to be getting sage advice
学到东西 我感到很荣幸 from an impeccable mother like you.
除了安德鲁 你的孩子都很完美 Your kids turned out perfect, if you don't count Andrew.
他到底去哪了 Where is he, again?
不会是在少年犯劳教所吧 Some kind of a boot camp for juvenile delinquents?
好了 姑娘们 Ok, girls.
我从来没说过我是完美的 I never said I was perfect.
亲爱的 没有人责怪你 Honey, nobody's blaming you.
我就是在责怪她 The hell I'm not.
勒奈特 Lynette...
不好意思 失陪了 If you will excuse me.
勒奈特你不去追她回来吗 Lynette, will you go after her?
她打我儿子 She spanked my son.
我不会去道歉的 I'm not apologizing.
平时玩扑克比今天有意思多了 Usually, poker is more fun than this.
如果你不站在我这边 我肯定会输的 So help me, if you don't back me up on this, I will lose it.
没错 布里不应该打波特 Yes, Bree shouldn't have spanked Porter.
但是她并没有伤害他 But it's not like she hurt him.
那不是重点 That is not the point.
要是你肯定不会打别人家的小孩 You don't spank other people's children.
他不听话 她总得做点什么 He was misbehaving. She had to do something.
可她确实做得有点过分 But make no mistake, she definitely crossed the line.
她太过分了 Damn right.
她怎么不试试别的方法 比如暂停游戏 She could've tried something else, like a time-out,
或者只是威胁说要打他 or she could've simply threatened to spank him.
是啊 我们用这招就挺管用 Yeah, 'cause that works out so well when we do it.
当然管用 多数时候都管用的 It does work. It does work most of the time.
以前是有用 It used to work.
可他们已经知道我们只是虚张声势而已 They've figured out it's an empty threat.
他们已经摸透我们的把戏了 They're onto us.
我妈以前总是狠狠地打我和妹妹 My mom used to beat the hell out of my sisters and me,
我可不会那么做 and I won't do it.
我不要变成我妈那样 I will not become my mother.
好吧 Fine.
可孩子们会长大 变得越发聪明 But the boys are getting older and smarter.
到后来 相信我 And eventually, believe me,
他们会意识到自己能在数量上压倒我们 They'll figure out that they outnumber us and then...
到那时我们就杯具了 we're screwed.
没错 Exactly.
麻烦你一下 扎克 Excuse me, Zachary.
能帮我提下这些袋子吗 Would you mind helping me with these bags?
要是你来帮忙 我给你些香蕉面包 There's some banana bread in it for you if you do.
好的 没问题 Uh, yeah, sure.
蒂尔曼太太这真好吃 谢谢 Mm. This is really good, Mrs. Tillman. Thanks a lot.
不客气 扎克 You're welcome, Zachary.
我以前从来没来过胡博太太家 I've never been in Mrs. Huber's house before.
显然你没有错过太多东西 Obviously you haven't missed much.
这房子的布置毫无美感 This is the place where good taste goes to die.
那天我听到你跟你爸爸吵架了 So, I heard you and your father arguing the other day.
-家里没什么事吧 -没事 - Everything all right at home? - Yeah.
我们偶尔有些小摩擦 We just have... problems, sometimes.
我猜你很想念你母亲 I bet you miss your mother.
如果她活着 家里就不一样了 I'm sure things were... different when she was alive.
她是那么温柔又亲切 Such a warm, loving woman.
你 You...
认识我妈妈 ...knew my mother?
很多年以前 在犹他 Yup. Years ago, in Utah.
我们一起工作过 We worked together.
-我不知道这个 -是真的 - I didn't know that. - It's true.
其实 In fact...
告诉你一个秘密 ...I'll tell you a secret.
你很小的时候我就见过你 I once met you when you were a little baby.
真的吗 Really?
扎克 你妈妈拿你当心肝宝贝 Your mother loved you so much, Zachary.
在我所记得关于她的事情里 Of all the things I remember,
这一点记忆犹新 I remember that the most.
知道我还记得什么吗 You wanna know what else I remember?
你以前的名字是那么可爱 How lovely your original name was.
是丹娜吗 Dana?
真是太好了 Isn't this nice?
就我们两个女生 Just the two of us girls hanging out,
一起变得美美的 getting pretty.
-都得感谢你 -很荣幸 - Oh, thank you. - My pleasure.
我觉得你应该给莫蒂打个电话 So, I was thinking maybe you should call Morty.
总得慢慢化解矛盾吧 You know, get started working things out?
我为什么要跟虐待我的男人复合 Why work things out with a man who abuses me?
别惊讶 我母亲说话比较夸张 You don't have to gasp. My mother exaggerates.
我不被打到淤青她是不会甘心的 She won't be happy till I have bruises.
别跑题好吗 我是想知道 Um, can we just focus? What I want to know is,
你有没有认真想过 have you thought about
要是你不回莫蒂身边会怎样 what's going to happen if you don't go back to Morty?
你指是什么 What do you mean?
你没地方住 Well, you don't have a place to live,
不想去工作 you don't like to work,
又不肯嫁给莫蒂 you didn't want to marry Morty
那么他不就必给你生活费 so he doesn't have to pay you alimony.
如果你不想回到这个 If you don't go back to this man
五年来只推过你一下的男人身边 who allegedly shoved you once in five years,
你还有别的选择吗 what are your options?
我可以跟你一起住啊 I thought I could live with you.
什么 What?!
天哪 你还好吧 Oh, god! Are you all right?!
-走开 -太对不起了 - Get away! - I'm so sorry.
我刚才被吓到了 I was startled.
好了 把头抬起来 Here, lean your head back.
我又没说一直住在那里 I'm not saying permanently,
只是住几年而已 just a couple of years.
你把我鼻子踢坏了 You broke my nose.
不不 只是撞了一下 No, it's just banged a little.
直到我能自力更生 Till I get back on my feet.
我们晚点再谈这事好吗 Can we talk about this later?
要叫救护车吗 Should we call 911?
只是鼻子出血 她没事 It's just a nosebleed. She's fine.
我以为你听到会很高兴 I thought you'd be excited by the idea.
我不是不高兴 It's not that I'm not excited.
苏珊 我不是傻瓜 I'm not stupid, Susan.
很明显 你不愿意我跟你住 It's obvious you don't want me here.
没有 不是这样的 别走妈妈 No, that's not true! Mom, don't go!
妈 回来 Mom, come back!
我得去... You know, I need to...
-你没事了吧 -快走吧 - We're good, right? - Just go.
你怎么还没换衣服 Why aren't you dressed yet?
我想挑件安德鲁最喜欢的颜色 I wanted to wear Andrew's favorite color
但是我发现 and then I realized that...
我不知道他喜欢什么颜色 ...I don't know what it is.
亲爱的 我觉得你去看他 Honey, I think the fact you decided to come
他就应该很开心了 at all will make him happy.
你喜欢蓝色 Yours is blue.
丹妮尔喜欢粉色 Danielle loves pink.
可儿子喜欢什么颜色我完全不知道 And I have no idea what my own son's favorite color is.
我跟你说 这不重要 I'm telling you, it doesn't matter.
你怎么能这么说 How can you say that?
-这当然重要 -布里 - Of course it matters. - Bree...
知道这些才算个好母亲 That is a good mother.
妈妈应该了解孩子的一切 Someone who knows their child inside and out
当他们遇到麻烦的时候 so that if they get in trouble,
妈妈们才能知道该怎么办 they know what to do.
我不够了解他 I don't know him well enough.
你是个好母亲 You are a good mother.
是棕色 还是绿色 我不知道 Brown or green? I... just don't know.
我去车里等你 I'm gonna wait in the car.
你慢慢来 别着急 Whenever you're ready.
绿色 Green.
我穿绿色 大家都喜欢绿色 I'll go with the green. Everybody loves green.
我说过了 我是不会签的 I told you. I'm not signing this.
我想你会的 Oh, I think you are.
你要是不签 我就跟你离婚 Because if you don't, I will divorce you.
那么我就去找警察 Then I'll go to the police.
跟他们说什么 And tell them what?
说我在开曼群岛 There's a secret bank account
有个不存在的秘密银行账户吗 in the Cayman Islands that no longer exists?
-你把钱挪走了 -当然挪走了 - You moved the money? - Of course I moved the money.
那太危险了 That was risky.
那些探员都在监视着你呢 I mean, the feds are watching you right now.
我得做点什么 I had to do something.
这样你才不能把我耍得团团转 I couldn't just let you make a fool out of me.
住手卡洛斯 住手 Oh! stop, Carlos, stop it!
-放我下来 -好啊 - Put me down! - Ok.
放我下来 Put me down!
松开我 Let me go!
住手 你弄疼我了 卡洛斯 Stop! You're hurting me, Carlos!
签名 Sign it.
签啊 Sign it!
我知道 宝贝 I know, baby.
失去的滋味很痛苦 It hurts to lose.
是范德坎普夫妇吗 Mr. and Mrs. Van de Kamp?
是的 轮到我们了吗 Uh, yes. Is it our turn?
是 安德鲁在里面等着 不过... Well, uh, sort of. Andrew's waiting inside but, uh...
怎么了 What's wrong?
他说如果他母亲在场 Well, he said he won't go forward with the session if...
他就拒绝参加会谈 his mother's involved.
他只想和他父亲说话 He only wants to talk to his dad.
我们今天开了200英里的车来这儿 We drove 200 miles to be here today.
这简直不可理喻 This is unacceptable.
我明白你很恼火 Yeah, I share your frustration.
管他呢 我们回家 To hell with him, then. We're going home.
-不要 -我不容许他对你如此无礼 - No. - I'm not gonna let him insult you like this.
他怨我送他来这里 He blames me for his being here.
怨我做的一切 He blames me for everything.
何况他说不定没错 And he's probably right.
就算有错 也是我们俩共同犯的 Any mistakes made were made by both of us.
得有一个人跟他聊聊 看看他好不好 One of us should go talk to him, see how he is.
我没事的 I'm OK.
-你确定吗 -确定 我没事 - Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm fine.
这边走 Right this way.
妈妈 妈妈 Mom! Mom!
来了 什么事 你们怎么不刷牙 I'm coming. What is it? Why aren't you guys brushing your teeth?
帕克 怎么回事 Perk, what happened?
波特推我 它就掉进去了 Porter pushed me and it fell in.
-他先推我的 -我可以把它冲下去吗 - He pushed me first. - Can I flush it?
不行 我一会儿把它捞出来 No, no, I'll fish it out later.
今晚就放你一马 You're off the hook tonight
不过你们俩 赶紧刷牙 but not you two, so start brushing.
普雷斯顿 你没听见吗 Preston, did you not hear me?
我说快点刷牙 I said start brushing your teeth.
你要干吗 What are you doing?
你敢扔试试 Don't you dare.
扔呀 扔呀 Do it! Do it!
别听他们的 Don't listen to them.
离马桶远点 我们就相安无事 Back away from the toilet and no one gets hurt.
扔呀 扔呀 Do it! Do it!
我这回是当真的 不要当耳边风 I mean it this time. These are not just words.
扔呀 扔呀 Do it! Do it!
你要是扔了 我保证 If you do this, so help me...
听见自己的声音如此没有份量 Hearing the hollowness of her own voice,
勒奈特意识到是时候先发制人了 Lynette realized that it was time to get one step ahead.
扔呀 扔呀 Do it! Do it!
我要带你们去范德坎普太太家 I will walk you over to Mrs. Van de Kamp's
我们都知道她发火时会怎么样 and we all know what happens when she gets mad.
现在 Now...
去刷牙 刷刷干净 快点 Go brush your teeth. I want 'em to sparkle. Go on.
真遗憾你又得把你儿子送来 Sorry you had to bring your kid back.
这次又怎么了 What happened this time?
几个月前 A couple of months back,
我抓到图格翻我的钱包 I caught Tug going through my purse.
我最讨厌他们做这种事 Oh, I hate when they do that.
他是在找烟还是钱 Was he looking for weed or money?
现在谁还知道 Who knows at this point?
我那天喝多了 事情一发不可收拾 Anyway, I'd knocked a couple back and things got heated.
没过多久 我们就开始大声对骂 Pretty soon we're both screaming,
在房间里互摔东西 throwing stuff round the apartment.
接着 楼上的小姐报了警 Next thing you kown, lady upstairs calls the cops.
行了 让我歇歇 Oh, give me a break.
所以 现在有个社工 So, now I got some social worker
想教我怎么养我儿子 trying to tell me how to raise my boy.
小孩 尤其是男孩 要是早知如此 Kids! boy, if I knew then what I know now,
我20年前就该把子宫切除了 I would've had that hysterectomy 20 years ago.
-布里 -别起来 我说完就走 - Uh, Bree... - Don't get up. I'll be quick.
安德鲁 任何父母为了让自己孩子 Andrew, all any parent can do is provide their child
人生有所建树 所能提供的东西 with the tools to succeed in life.
包括教育 爱 整洁安全的家 Education, love, a good clean, safe home.
我都给你了 我受够了对你充满负罪感 I've given you those things and I'm through feeling guilty.
你要是想自暴自弃 If you wanna piss your life away
还怪罪到家人 随便你 and blame it on how horrible things are at home, go ahead.
我是个好母亲 我尽责了 But I want it stated for the record
别破坏我的名声 你听到了没 that I'm a good mother. Do you hear me?
我是个好母亲 I am a good mother.
布里 Bree...
安德鲁刚跟我说他觉得他可能是同志 Andrew just told me he thinks he might be gay.
什么 What?!
所以他才想让我先进来 That's why he wanted me to come in first.
他觉得我更容易接受 He thought I could take it better.
他想得没错 我在车里等着 Well, he was right. I will be waiting in the car.
索利斯夫人 你来这儿干什么 Mrs. Solis. What are you doing here?
-没事吧 -你室友在吗 - Ok. - Are your roommates here?
不在 No.
-你没事吧 -没有 - Are you ok? - Yeah.
-这怎么回事 -这是... - What's this? - That? Uh...
卡洛斯有点粗暴 逼我签一些文件 Carlos just got a little rough. Made me sign some papers.
他竟然伤害你 He hurt you?
-你要干什么 -交给我处理 - What are you doing? - I'll take care of this.
-你什么也别做 -不能就这么放过他 - You are not gonna do anything. - We can't let him get away with it.
要是你真的想报复他 吻我 Look, if you really wanna get back at him, then kiss me.
-这有什么用 -因为... - How's that gonna help? - Because...
有一天时机成熟的时候 one day when the time is right,
我会告诉他 他是怎么把我推进你怀里的 I'm gonna tell him how he drove me right into your arms.
那会气死他的 And that's gonna kill him.
今夜 怎么都行 And tonight, just... whatever you do,
唯独别夸我漂亮 don't call me beautiful.
莫蒂 看看谁来了 Oh, Morty, look who's here.
米莉 莫蒂 Hey, Millie. Hi, Morty.
苏珊 什么风把你吹来了 Susie, what brings you here?
我妈 我把她带来了 Mom. I brought her over.
她在外面待着干什么 What's she doing out there?
她说你不出去和她道歉的话 她就不进来 She says she won't come in until you apologize to her.
-为什么道歉 -因为你推她 - For what? - For shoving her.
她不停打我 我才推她的 I only shoved her because she wouldn't stop hitting me.
她为什么要打你 Why was she hitting you?
我朝她 扔了本书 I threw a... I threw a book at her.
-莫蒂 -只是本平装书 - Morty! - It was a paperback.
-就算这样 -而且我没打中 - Well, even so! - At least I missed.
而她直接对着我肚子打 I mean, she... she hit me square in the gut.
-你要看看淤青吗 -不 不用了 - Wanna see the bruise? - That's ok. That's ok.
-很疼的 -我懂 - It really hurt. - Yeah, I understand.
那么 So...
你能不能就出去道个歉 Could you, uh, just go out and apologize?
-不能 -为什么 - No. - Why?
-因为我不想挽回她了 -莫蒂 - 'cause I don't want her back. - Morty!
我是爱她 Look, I love her,
但这个烤饼屋正开始蒸蒸日上 but the pancake shack is just starting to take off.
我们还商量着再开一家 We're talking about opening another one.
实际上就是连锁店 That's practically a chain.
我没精力跟她胡闹 I don't have time for her hysterics.
我深表同情 真的 I sympathize, I really do.
-可你一定要把她接走 -为什么 - But you have to take her back. - Why?
因为她想要搬来和我住 Because she wants to move in with me.
我还想再谈恋爱 I'd like to have a relationship again,
以我的年龄 还带着小孩 and at my age, with a kid,
要是她搬到我家 if she moves into my house,
就算只有几年 我也没戏了 even for a couple of years, I'm doomed.
不是有个水管工吗 Wasn't there a plumber?
你妈妈说你爱上了一个水管工 Your mother said you were in love with a plumber.
是的 我是说 我曾爱过 I am. I mean, I was.
-但我们吹了 -很抱歉 - It didn't work out. - I'm sorry.
要是她搬进来 If she moves in,
她会把我逼得喘不过气来 我受不了 she will burn up all my oxygen and I need it.
求你 不能再给她一次机会吗 Please, can't you give her another chance?
当你们不打架的时候 You guys are really good together, you know?
你们俩在一起很甜蜜 When you're... when, when, when there's no violence.
我们之间确实很有火花 Well, we do have chemistry.
毋庸置疑 Absolutely.
而且性生活也 棒极了 And, you know, the sex was like... Wow!
有那么一次 I mean, there was this one time,
我们正在回家的高速公路上 we were coming home on the interstate...
你不用跟我说 去跟她说 You don't have to sell me. Just go talk to her.
现在就去 Now.
好吧 Ok.
真是大大松了口气啊 That was a mighty big sigh.
我忍不住想过迟早有这天 而我又无计可施 I just keep thinking it's coming, and I can't stop it.
哪一天 What's that?
我妈妈需要搬来和我住的那一天 The day my mother will need to move in
而我别无选择 and I won't have a choice.
我知道这是很多年后的事 I know it's years away.
她还很年轻有活力 谢天谢地 She's youthful and vibrant, thank god.
但时光飞逝 But time flies.
总有一天她会照顾不了她自己 One day she won't be able to take care of herself anymore.
-然后我就得接手 -没错 - And I'll have to step up. - I suppose that's true.
我觉得这是老天开的玩笑 I think it's nature's little joke,
孩子最终得反过来抚养父母 that children ultimately end up parenting their parents.
等那一天来临的时候 我会全力以赴 Well, when that day comes, I'll be ready.
宝贝 你最好出去看看 Honey, you'd better get out there.
住手 Stop it! Aaagh!
你们在干什么 What are you doing?
波特说他抓不住我 Porter says he can't catch me!
我想要向你道歉 Look, I just wanted to apologize...
勒奈特 不需要 Lynette, don't.
你从对面走过来 The fact that you just crossed that street
对我来说就足够了 means the world to me.
如果有人需要道歉的话 那该是我 And if anyone here should apologize, it's me.
谢谢 Thank you.
看样子汤姆制住这群臭小子了 Looks like Tom's got the mob under control.
想不想过来喝杯咖啡 坐坐 Wanna have some coffee, sit around,
为孩子的事儿发发牢骚 bitch about our kids...?
-我乐意之至 -那好 - I would love to. - Ok.
孩子带着各自的使命来到这个世界 Children come into the world with their own agendas.
有的为了点亮了我们生活 Some to brighten our days.
有的为了考验我们耐心 Some to test our patience.
有的为了给我们目标 Some to give us purpose.
有的为了照顾我们 Some to take care of us.
没错 当他们降生时 Yes, when they come,
一切就不一样了 children change everything.
尤其在他们不期而至之时 Especially when they're not invited.